Tumblr bound

I've converted to Tumblr so mosey on down to primadharma

Same primadharma, different home.

Love tap

So I've been on a hiatus, mainly do to the fact that @ my new house we do not have internet (I blame it on the smartphone craze hitting my 2 roommates who don't see the point in wifi). Love my house, love my job, doing well... Wanted to update this for my own personal piece of mind, and to give my blog a little love tap

Beach House

I'm moving Tuesday to a house on the bay....
I am so excited and ready.
Biking to parks, the beach, seafood restaurants and my favorite German brew house
Waking up and walking out on my own deck and gazing at the water with a cup of coffee and piece of mind...Water does that to a person:)


Salvador Dali - Woman at the window

moment of zen....

"In the end
these things matter most:
How well did you love?
How fully did you live?
How deeply did you let go?"
— Siddhārtha Gautama

It's a quarter after 12, I'm a little drunk & yeaaaaa......

So I broke the cardinal rule of drinking/cellphone etiquette Friday. I legitimately drunk dialed a guy I have been talking to and then proceeded to have a 5 minute conversation, none of which I remember. Texted him the next day saying sorry if I said anything ridiculous I was a little drunk. No response. Lovely.

I've taken to my friends for advice on wtf I should do and they reassured me it happens a lot and if he's not writing back, f him. I appreciate their advice, but this behavior is not like me. I don't know what came over me to call him. but I did. What I said, I do not know. In my judgmental head, I am thinking I drunkenly told him I liked him, wanna see him, totally freaking him out.

My bottom line is, when you do something to compromise yourself and feel embarrassed about your actions, how do you recover? I know to most, this doesn't seem like a major issue, and it isn't. For me, this guy doesn't know me very well yet, and whatever I spewed out at 1230 at night to him, right now I am thinking the worst.

I keep telling myself, he's not worth it if he hasn't given me piece of mind about it. It just sucks that I need him to feel this piece of mind. To be blunt, I am pretty sure I blew it, even if what I said wasn't bad.

Upon this recent flub on my part, I am swearing off the alcohol for a while. I don't drink too much to begin with, but REALLY with calling the guy you like DRUNK and NOT REMEMBERING? Not one of my proudest moments. I can't say the past is in the past, because it's still gripping me presently....

One day, with the right person, I won't feel this overwhelming fear of the unknown; Resulting to calling him drunk to gain clarity, thus in the end making everything more complex than before. I am sick of this crap.

Oh Happy Mothereffin Valentines.

Instantgoodmood song of the day

I am giving up on making passes and
I am giving up on half empty glasses and
I am giving up on greener grasses
I am giving up

love it. enjoy

love. loss.

a poem I wrote

Love.Loss

hazy halo of fermented grapes
whisks away all the cobwebs
ponderings, meanderings
words that are too precocious
for their own good
teetering on believing
in something more than feeling
a deep and undoubtedly fulfilling
revelation worthy sensation
building up to a conclusion
the lingering then spontaneous explosion
slaps you in the face without intrusion
the hum of silence engulfing
when action doesn't match with moving
accepting the submissive foretelling
a story beginning, unraveling
life goes on without telling
words aren't even comprehending
all aligns but swiftly starts retracting
the same pattern quietly falls back in...
hazy halo of fermented grapes
just enough cobwebs for forgetting....

Love, Dad

My Dad: "I go into work and all these Gen X'ers are on their blueberries, blackberries whatever the hell they are".

And for more.....click this website...
Dad-isms/

straight-forward, hilarious, pulling-at-the-heartstrings-worthy website on a Dad and his daily isms.

Enjoy. Have a good weekend.

Resolve

Last year as I stood in a group of fellow kundalini yogis and was told to write down my manifestations for 2010, I felt so hopeful so confident to conclude I would achieve it all. I am full of joy and pride to say that each manifestation happened in their own roundabout way. Last year the motto was "All or nothing", and a friend recently wrote me an e-mail saying she was initially in search of having "it all", yet found out she was seeking "nothingness" all along. I couldn't agreee with her more. Seeking out specific goals for the year is a good way to segway into the unknown, but decompartmentalizing your life into resolutions, for me, seems this year to add to the pressure. So I give you my list of Resolve. Instead of giving myself resolutions screaming, "Don't and No", I hope these inspire me to expand who I am.


Resolution < Resolve.

For 2011 I seek resolve. I will strive for common ground & a centered/well-rounded life.

Appreciate what I have.

Seek not what I feel I "should" be doing, but instead seek what inspires me.

Move out on my own.

Quit fearing commitment to one path.

Get back to yoga. Seriously.

Perform more selfless acts, no matter how small.

Watch less TV. Facebook less.

Get my well over due doctor's check-ups now that I have health insurance.

Be not defined or lost in others decisions. Compare not myself to others choices and paths.

Learn to knit.

Go on a pilgramage or journey somewhere and lose myself in everything around me.

Embrace new love.

Happy New Year ~ Erin

Sunday quote

People don’t want their lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. Their distractions. Their stories resolved. Their messes cleaned up. Because what would they have left? Just the big scary unknown.

Thought of the day

Ever feel...

like you've fallen into a routine of mundane/blah-ness....

Lately I'm not sure if my desire for change of ANYTHING is due to my gypsy-traveling tendencies or that I am simply bored.

I just need something to give, something to go wrong, something to make me feel a way that is foreign to me, some struggle, identity crisis, random run-in with someone or something. I am getting way to comfortable...too settled... But I am happy though. I am becoming one of those-happy-go-lucky people that I used to envy for their naivety to all that surrounds them and their simple contentedness for where they are.

Unfortunately, I have a little place inside me that I sometimes neglect and it gets lost in the day to day clutter. It tends to gather cobwebs and gets pushed to the back of my mind, kind of like an attic that holds all my treasured belongings. It holds experiences I want to have, place I want to go, feats I want to conquer, people I want to help, emotions I want to feel. Lately this place has been frequenting my daydreams and stealing me away from my comfy, cozy place... lets call it the living room, equipped with a TV, comfy couch, delicious food and all my family and friends. The attic sure is a lonely place.

Is this urge for change normal or will I never be satisfied until I am living in the attic, metaphorically speaking...

conundrum of my life.

Colors

Brown
Green
Red
Orange
Yellow
Brown......

oh the color wheel of seasons.....

ahh the magic of simon and garfunkel playing to the changing seasons, if only this was a movie and songs played in the background all the time instead of just in my head...

sigh.

Education Philosophy

"If I ran a school, I’d give the average grade to the ones who gave me all the right answers, for being good parrots. I’d give the top grades to those who made a lot of mistakes and told me about them, and then told me what they learned from them." -R. Buckminster Fuller

I was asked today by the head of school to create my educational philosophy with 25 words or less for the website. It got me thinking and here's wha tI came up with:

I believe in teaching each child to recognize their strengths, so they build a solid foundation within themselves. I provide them with the encouragement to continue building.

Growing, pains

If the children don't grow up
Our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up
We're just a million little gods causing rainstorms
Turning every good thing to rust

I think we never, truely grow up, but if growing up were put to a song, this would be it.

Mad Men Emmy Fashion

Although I did not watch the Emmy's because I was too busy was Mad Men on TV, and they bore me a little, I caught a glimpse at some of the fashion from the night.

January Jones

This dress landed on a ton of the Worst Dressed lists, but I honestly love it. I think it is different, bold and looks beautiful on her. I loved this look.

Christina Hendricks

This dress also got bad reviews online, but I feel that although the Emmys are meant for glamor and glitz, sometimes simple, vintage looking dresses, although underwhelming are still gorgeous nonetheless. I thought she looked whimsical.

I also thought Elisabeth Moss looked beautiful. So, maybe I am biased because I love Mad Men, but I thought the Mad Men ladies rocked it... even Sally!