Primadharma

Tumblr bound

2011-08-01T23:28:00.002-04:00

I've converted to Tumblr so mosey on down to primadharma

Same primadharma, different home.

Love tap

2011-06-24T11:42:00.003-04:00

So I've been on a hiatus, mainly do to the fact that @ my new house we do not have internet (I blame it on the smartphone craze hitting my 2 roommates who don't see the point in wifi). Love my house, love my job, doing well... Wanted to update this for my own personal piece of mind, and to give my blog a little love tap

Beach House

2011-02-24T20:11:00.007-05:00

I'm moving Tuesday to a house on the bay....
I am so excited and ready.
Biking to parks, the beach, seafood restaurants and my favorite German brew house
Waking up and walking out on my own deck and gazing at the water with a cup of coffee and piece of mind...Water does that to a person:)

Salvador Dali - Woman at the window

moment of zen....

2011-02-20T21:35:00.000-05:00

"In the end
these things matter most:
How well did you love?
How fully did you live?
How deeply did you let go?"
— Siddhārtha Gautama

It's a quarter after 12, I'm a little drunk & yeaaaaa......

2011-02-13T09:58:00.006-05:00

So I broke the cardinal rule of drinking/cellphone etiquette Friday. I legitimately drunk dialed a guy I have been talking to and then proceeded to have a 5 minute conversation, none of which I remember. Texted him the next day saying sorry if I said anything ridiculous I was a little drunk. No response. Lovely.

I've taken to my friends for advice on wtf I should do and they reassured me it happens a lot and if he's not writing back, f him. I appreciate their advice, but this behavior is not like me. I don't know what came over me to call him. but I did. What I said, I do not know. In my judgmental head, I am thinking I drunkenly told him I liked him, wanna see him, totally freaking him out.

My bottom line is, when you do something to compromise yourself and feel embarrassed about your actions, how do you recover? I know to most, this doesn't seem like a major issue, and it isn't. For me, this guy doesn't know me very well yet, and whatever I spewed out at 1230 at night to him, right now I am thinking the worst.

I keep telling myself, he's not worth it if he hasn't given me piece of mind about it. It just sucks that I need him to feel this piece of mind. To be blunt, I am pretty sure I blew it, even if what I said wasn't bad.

Upon this recent flub on my part, I am swearing off the alcohol for a while. I don't drink too much to begin with, but REALLY with calling the guy you like DRUNK and NOT REMEMBERING? Not one of my proudest moments. I can't say the past is in the past, because it's still gripping me presently....

One day, with the right person, I won't feel this overwhelming fear of the unknown; Resulting to calling him drunk to gain clarity, thus in the end making everything more complex than before. I am sick of this crap.

Oh Happy Mothereffin Valentines.

Instantgoodmood song of the day

2011-02-07T17:58:00.002-05:00

I am giving up on making passes and
I am giving up on half empty glasses and
I am giving up on greener grasses
I am giving up

love it. enjoy

love. loss.

2011-01-28T18:36:00.011-05:00

a poem I wrote

Love.Loss

hazy halo of fermented grapes
whisks away all the cobwebs
ponderings, meanderings
words that are too precocious
for their own good
teetering on believing
in something more than feeling
a deep and undoubtedly fulfilling
revelation worthy sensation
building up to a conclusion
the lingering then spontaneous explosion
slaps you in the face without intrusion
the hum of silence engulfing
when action doesn't match with moving
accepting the submissive foretelling
a story beginning, unraveling
life goes on without telling
words aren't even comprehending
all aligns but swiftly starts retracting
the same pattern quietly falls back in...
hazy halo of fermented grapes
just enough cobwebs for forgetting....

Love, Dad

2011-01-28T18:29:00.005-05:00

My Dad: "I go into work and all these Gen X'ers are on their blueberries, blackberries whatever the hell they are".

And for more.....click this website...
Dad-isms/

straight-forward, hilarious, pulling-at-the-heartstrings-worthy website on a Dad and his daily isms.

Enjoy. Have a good weekend.

Resolve

2011-01-02T20:12:00.004-05:00

Last year as I stood in a group of fellow kundalini yogis and was told to write down my manifestations for 2010, I felt so hopeful so confident to conclude I would achieve it all. I am full of joy and pride to say that each manifestation happened in their own roundabout way. Last year the motto was "All or nothing", and a friend recently wrote me an e-mail saying she was initially in search of having "it all", yet found out she was seeking "nothingness" all along. I couldn't agreee with her more. Seeking out specific goals for the year is a good way to segway into the unknown, but decompartmentalizing your life into resolutions, for me, seems this year to add to the pressure. So I give you my list of Resolve. Instead of giving myself resolutions screaming, "Don't and No", I hope these inspire me to expand who I am.

Resolution < Resolve.

For 2011 I seek resolve. I will strive for common ground & a centered/well-rounded life.

Appreciate what I have.

Seek not what I feel I "should" be doing, but instead seek what inspires me.

Move out on my own.

Quit fearing commitment to one path.

Get back to yoga. Seriously.

Perform more selfless acts, no matter how small.

Watch less TV. Facebook less.

Get my well over due doctor's check-ups now that I have health insurance.

Be not defined or lost in others decisions. Compare not myself to others choices and paths.

Learn to knit.

Go on a pilgramage or journey somewhere and lose myself in everything around me.

Embrace new love.

Happy New Year ~ Erin

Sunday quote

2010-11-14T07:40:00.000-05:00

People don’t want their lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. Their distractions. Their stories resolved. Their messes cleaned up. Because what would they have left? Just the big scary unknown.

Thought of the day

Ever feel...

2010-11-10T19:43:00.006-05:00

like you've fallen into a routine of mundane/blah-ness....

Lately I'm not sure if my desire for change of ANYTHING is due to my gypsy-traveling tendencies or that I am simply bored.

I just need something to give, something to go wrong, something to make me feel a way that is foreign to me, some struggle, identity crisis, random run-in with someone or something. I am getting way to comfortable...too settled... But I am happy though. I am becoming one of those-happy-go-lucky people that I used to envy for their naivety to all that surrounds them and their simple contentedness for where they are.

Unfortunately, I have a little place inside me that I sometimes neglect and it gets lost in the day to day clutter. It tends to gather cobwebs and gets pushed to the back of my mind, kind of like an attic that holds all my treasured belongings. It holds experiences I want to have, place I want to go, feats I want to conquer, people I want to help, emotions I want to feel. Lately this place has been frequenting my daydreams and stealing me away from my comfy, cozy place... lets call it the living room, equipped with a TV, comfy couch, delicious food and all my family and friends. The attic sure is a lonely place.

Is this urge for change normal or will I never be satisfied until I am living in the attic, metaphorically speaking...

conundrum of my life.

Colors

2010-10-19T21:30:00.005-04:00

Brown
Green
Red
Orange
Yellow
Brown......

oh the color wheel of seasons.....

ahh the magic of simon and garfunkel playing to the changing seasons, if only this was a movie and songs played in the background all the time instead of just in my head...

sigh.

Education Philosophy

2010-10-06T20:44:00.002-04:00

"If I ran a school, I’d give the average grade to the ones who gave me all the right answers, for being good parrots. I’d give the top grades to those who made a lot of mistakes and told me about them, and then told me what they learned from them." -R. Buckminster Fuller

I was asked today by the head of school to create my educational philosophy with 25 words or less for the website. It got me thinking and here's wha tI came up with:

I believe in teaching each child to recognize their strengths, so they build a solid foundation within themselves. I provide them with the encouragement to continue building.

Growing, pains

2010-09-01T12:03:00.002-04:00

If the children don't grow up
Our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up
We're just a million little gods causing rainstorms
Turning every good thing to rust

I think we never, truely grow up, but if growing up were put to a song, this would be it.

Mad Men Emmy Fashion

2010-08-31T09:39:00.004-04:00

Although I did not watch the Emmy's because I was too busy was Mad Men on TV, and they bore me a little, I caught a glimpse at some of the fashion from the night.

January Jones

This dress landed on a ton of the Worst Dressed lists, but I honestly love it. I think it is different, bold and looks beautiful on her. I loved this look.

Christina Hendricks

This dress also got bad reviews online, but I feel that although the Emmys are meant for glamor and glitz, sometimes simple, vintage looking dresses, although underwhelming are still gorgeous nonetheless. I thought she looked whimsical.

I also thought Elisabeth Moss looked beautiful. So, maybe I am biased because I love Mad Men, but I thought the Mad Men ladies rocked it... even Sally!

The Day You Read This...

2010-08-23T13:35:00.002-04:00

Wow.

The Day You Read This...

---- posted from I Wrote This For You

Song of the Open Road

2010-08-16T20:29:00.003-04:00

Feeling very Christopher McCandles-ish & introspective tonight....

Excerpt from Song of the Open Road
The earth never tires,

The earth is rude, silent, incomprehensible at first, Nature is rude
and incomprehensible at first,
Be not discouraged, keep on, there are divine things well envelop'd,
I swear to you there are divine things more beautiful than words can
tell.

Allons! the road is before us!
It is safe - I have tried it - my own feet have tried it well - be not
detain'd!
Let the paper remain on the desk unwritten, and the book on the
shelf unopen'd!
Let the tools remain in the workshop! let the money remain unearn'd!
Let the school stand! mind not the cry of the teacher!
Let the preacher preach in his pulpit! let the lawyer plead in the
court, and the judge expound the law.
-Walt Whitman

Mad Men wisdom

2010-08-16T16:32:00.005-04:00

"Nobody knows what's wrong with themselves, but everyone else can see it right away" - Stephanie, Mad Men Season 4 - Episode 3 - "The Good News"

Bachelorette

2010-08-03T15:35:00.005-04:00

I was ready to write a post about the Bachelorette, then after reading the blog Stay Forever Sunday's post about it, I felt her words translated exactly what I wanted to say... so without further ado, my feelings on the Bachelorette, by Melissa

My thoughts on shows like the bachelorette.
Reblogging something I wrote early last year on the subject.

Can I just say this…
there is a reason you can’t find true love on a television show.

because it grows best in the quiet times

when there are no cameras, no prying eyes, no people there to watch it.

It grows in the slow breaths and long silences of a car ride

in the short distance between his shoulder and mine.

Real love is not a fairy tale.

It is not perfect.

It is flawed and difficult

it hurts like hell sometimes.

Real love takes weeks and months and years to become.

It knows the story behind the scars on your ribcage,

your greatest fear,

and what you looked liked at seven.

True love isn’t a contest.

it’s the most unforced and natural of all life’s possibilities.

It’s what happens when you let go of precedents and expectations

and reveal all of yourself, privately and wholly to another soul.

Save tv shows for design contests and cook offs,

let love alone.

M

Smile

2010-07-31T18:24:00.010-04:00

Simply, the following makes me smile:

It was a beautiful day in Jersey today....

All I keep telling myself is 3 more days until I will never work in a restaurant again. I officially gave my 2 weeks. I am in the works of a volunteering opportunity I am very excited about...

Also, it's funny how some people surprise you in a way that is so refreshing, and reminds you that although you are an independent woman in your mid-twenties, a compliment from a guy can make you feel like a 16 year old high-school girl again...

http://iletaitunefois.tumblr.com/ is one of the most inspiring stories I have ever read.

by far the best little treasure in internet culture right now.

Joan, oh Joan.

Van Gogh.. Rhone.

Sisters

Full circle

2010-07-19T16:20:00.004-04:00

Today I...

got head-butted in the face by a student,

realized that my amount of patience sometimes astonishes me,

concluded that although I have been in severe denial since 14 that I am NOT shy, I am extremely shy around guys I find attractive because they make me nervous,

worked out for the first time in two-weeks, realizing that I need to get my butt back in gear,

harmonized with Ray Lamontagne songs the whole car ride home from work,

craved bike rides in Colorado ending with an iced coffee from Cafe Ardour with raw sugar,

got nostalgic when I found a scarf I bought in Massachusetts, and remembered all the time I wore it to yoga at Kripalu,

decided to quit my waitress job and volunteer with people in crisis.

Today I feel full of emotions, possibilities and the alluring nature of the unknown.

It is good to be alive:)

Don't Look Back

2010-07-02T10:07:00.001-04:00

Don't look back, all you'll ever get
Is the dust from the steps before

Feeling sad for my friend. Her and her boyfriend just broke up. Although break ups are depressing, I feel in her case, it is for the best.

This one goes out to my friend, and anyone else who may be feeling trapped by the past and needs a push forward..

Out-of-the-box gift ideas

2010-06-21T17:24:00.009-04:00

I just stumbled across Rare Bird Finds looking for non-typical gifts for a couple special occasions I have coming up. They feature sellers from independent stores all over the world and even from Etsy too. If you or your recipient like "think-outside-the-(gift)box) items, then check it out ---> I personally love:
Mustache Coffee Cups

&
7 Deadly Sins Glassware

Gifts with sass.

Thanks Dad.

2010-06-20T11:53:00.002-04:00

For allowing me to live life on the edge....

Happy Father's Day!

Patty Griffin, Avett Brothers, YES!

2010-06-05T09:03:00.006-04:00

Going to see Patty Griffin, The Avett Brothers and half a dozen more bands at The Appel Farm Arts Festival. I cannot tell you how excited I am! I haven't been to a show in over a year or so!

I have been a Patty Griffin fan ever since I heard "Long Ride Home" in Elizabethtown. Like any good song, I began searching for more songs by Patty and discovered an amazing singer and performer. I have sang her rendition of "Let Him Fly" before and I cannot wait to hear it live. "It Don't Come Easy", has made me cry more times than I can count when I lived far from home. You can say her music has traveled with me wherever I have gone.

My sister turned me on to The Avett Brothers recently. They have a simple, clean, soulful sound and beautiful harmony. I still can't get their songs out of my head after months. VERY EXCITED for their show.

There is something special about going to a festival. I think it is due to the fact that everyone is there to just sit back, relax in the sun and enjoy a good show. No preconceived notions. Also, a country festival brings a well-rounded bunch, with some fun characters!

Hope you have a great Saturday!

Woke up this morning...

2010-06-02T06:36:00.003-04:00

.....and knew it was going to be a beautiful day...

even if it doesn't go completely as planned,

even if for a split second I feel helpless,

even if sadness and negativity surround me,
it is only masked by my hope,

...and it will be a beautiful day.

Off to school...

25.

2010-05-26T19:51:00.012-04:00

About a month ago, I turned 25.

The number made me feel...indifferent, confused, bittersweet and anxious. I feel like I have a lot of questions to ask this number, and so far, the answers have yet to reveal themselves to me. When I tell different people I turned 25, I have noticed that I get a different reaction from each, "Oh my gosh, you are still so young!" - a co-worker in her 60's, "Ew you're getting old" - my 22 year old sister", "So, dating anyone? I just heard that ____ is pregnant and _____ is getting married!" - precocious people all over.

I'm just confused. I am not sure where I am supposed to be. I still believe that all my dreams and crazy aspirations are possible, yet I reeeeeally want to save for my own apartment and new car so I can get the hell out of my parent's house. I want to travel across the country, figure out what I want to be when I "grow up", go to graduate school for... (I'll get back to you), meet the man of my dreams, lose 25 pounds, get a puppy, run a marathon, and do all this now. I feel like I have seniorritis attributed to my crazy early twenties....ugh.

I feel at 25, you basically know who you are and you realize that is who you are going to be. You know what people you gravitate toward and those your avoid like the plague. You become anal about weird things, start becoming interested in news outside of your friend circle and TMZ, become slightly cynical of the way our country is run, formulate opinions you never knew you had, start bringing your jacket if the weather channel predicts rain, and maybe even have gotten your first gray hair...EEK!

Irresponsibly mature, haphazardly exciting and complex. That is what you are 25, and I don't know if I like you yet.

Are you ready?

2010-05-23T19:18:00.006-04:00

.....Cause I cannot wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Grateful

2010-05-02T09:02:00.008-04:00

These pictures I took this week remind me how grateful I am.

My dad and I at camp in Ontario. My dad's smile says everything.

Taken on my recent fishing trip with my dad to Ontario. No caption could describe the greatness of that trip... You can see it in my face

My favorite sky is when it's misty, mysterious and anticipatory.... Like it's holding it's breath for the sun or the rain....

Took a bike ride this morning, found these flowers (or maybe weeds?) outside my house. I picked them and had a cup of coffee in my cabbage leaf mug from Anthro that makes me feel like Alice in Wonderland when I drink from it.

My sister on her way to a wedding. She looked beautiful.

I just found out that I may not have a job in September, and I've been feeling a little down since last night... These pictures remind me that life is good, even though sometimes I wanna yell out, "Cut me a break already".

Quote

2010-04-30T23:39:00.001-04:00

"We must travel in in the direction of our fear"

This quote spoke to me tonite.....

Spring Palette

2010-04-18T14:11:00.004-04:00

Took these outside my house today....Flowers are coming up all over. I think this winter made the colors look even more vibrant than ever before.

Everything is beginning to wake up.

I love April, and not just because of my birthday.

I leave or Canada on Friday for my second fishing trip with my dad. I also will be turning 25 up there. There will also be a full moon on my birthday...I'll pretend that means I will have a very full 25th year.

Hope spring is beginning to show wherever you are.

Daffodil

2010-03-30T20:20:00.003-04:00

...Symbol of hope.

Here's hoping for a spring filled with surprises, beauty, adventures, friends and a little less of a heavy heart on my part.

I'm just people watching...

2010-03-30T19:51:00.004-04:00

I had to renew my license today.

and I came the conclusion that the NJ DMV is one of the most diverse, chaotic, entertaining, methodical, interesting sad places I've been to in a while....

I will never cease to amaze myself at the entertainment value of people watching.

1st Day of Spring haiku

2010-03-20T00:15:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow is spring
Beach chairs, drinks, music, friends
grass between my toes
Head back, eyes shut, let go...

Tomorrow is my first day off in 2 weeks.... Beyond excited. Bonfire at my house. Can't wait.

Happy Spring!

Miss Erin

2010-03-09T22:00:00.008-05:00

The theme of my twenties thus far, definitely includes a mild case of schizophrenia. I have worn countless hats since graduation:

Wedding Videographer
Make-up artist
Whitewater rafting information guide
Waitress
Meditation Enthusiast
Media Relations Assistant
Sugar Bowl videographer
Open Mic Singer
Kundalini yoga enthusiast
Bread-maker
Bridesmaid
Barista
Gardener
Wine-o
Micro-Brewery Bike Traveler
Backpacker
Runner
Zumba-er

I have also been many places (places I have lived are respectfully asterisked:

Cross country twice
Colorado*
Tent in Colorado*
Wyoming
Massachusetts*
Florida
The Greater Surrounding Tri-state area*
Ontario, Canada
New Hampshire
Vermont
New Orleans, LA
Nashville, TN

I never would have guessed that after all my adventures, jobs and trips I would be starting a job tomorrow 30 minutes from my hometown, at the school where my mom has worked for 13 years, where I will be referred to as Miss Erin. That, my friends is the biggest diversion in the chronicles of Erin so far.

I am going to be a teacher's aide for a student at a school for emotionally challenged children. The past 2 years I have had so much focus on me, me, me and what I want to be and where I want to go that I forgot one of the most important lessons I have learned in my 24 years of life. Nothing compares to the feeling of simply reaching out and helping others. This new path may serve as a catalyst for a career change, or it may not. I may be great at it or I may not. But in the process, you bet I will do my best to be a shining light for these kids' often dark lives.

Teach this triple truth to all: A generous heart, kind speech, and a life of service and compassion are the things which renew humanity.
Buddha

Channeling Joan Holloway

2010-02-18T21:30:00.008-05:00

If you've seen Mad Men, then you've been introduced to Joan Holloway. Although Mad Men is set in the early 1960's, a very male-driven time especially for women in high-power advertising offices.

Joan's character shakes her hips to a different drum. She is powerful, confident, quick on her feet, super intelligent and above all has every man in the office by the balls. She doesn't play the dumb, helpless, damsel in distress common in those days, she sees eye to eye with every man in the office. Instead of showing one ounce of self-doubt or falter, she barely flinches at chauvinistic comments and always fires back with something ten times more humiliating on their part.

Here's to Joan. May we all channel our inner Ms. Holloway not only at work but in our everyday lives.

Some Joan-isms from Mad Men:

"Unlike most girls I know, I succumb to male pressure only when I can get pleasure out of it. The boys around the office tend to feel a little threatened by that."

“Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they won’t be avoided.”

"Although, sometimes when people get what they want they realize how limited their goals were."

"You won't be taken seriously until you start dressing like a woman. Stop dressing like a little girl."

The seasons have changed from the present to past

2010-02-15T12:26:00.001-05:00

So beautiful, delicate, springtime rain showers, dew on my toes, unrequited love....

Feist - The Park

This song is my cellphone ring. I'm in love.

A secret romantic

2010-02-05T12:31:00.003-05:00

I act on the outside that I rather have a guy take me camping and cook me grill food than on a romantic nonsensical extravagant evening out, to compare two extremes, but deep down I am a romantic and I secretly love the nonsensical side of romance. Maybe I am more of an unconventional romantic who likes to be surprised over a cheesy romantic gesture, who knows.

Hence, I am risking my life through the blizzard to see Dear John today to live vicariously through Amanda Seyfried and channel my inner romantic.

Also, the song from the movie pulls at my heart a little

How many different kinds of romantic types are there?

pretty.

2010-01-31T18:49:00.001-05:00

Rain turns the sand into mud
Wind turns the trees into bone
Stars turning high up above
You turn me into somebody loved

Nights when the heat had gone out
We danced together alone
Cold turned our breath into clouds
We never said what we were dreaming of
But you turned me into somebody loved

Someday when we’re old and worn
Like two softened shoes
I will wonder on how I was born
The night I first ran away from you

Now my feet turn the corner back home
Sun turns the evening to rose
Stars turning high up above
You turn me into somebody loved

The Weepies - Somebody Loved

New make-up, finally!

2010-01-26T12:33:00.006-05:00

So, being that I am currently unemployed, looking for a job, and have a little time on my hands, I thought I would use my Sephora gift card and actually research and read reviews of the best make-up out there. I am sooo happy with my choices and wanted to share them with you. Here's a pic of just the eye-liner:

I don't like really dark blacks so I was a little hesitant to buy this one but, Urban Decay's 24/7 Black Zero eyeliner is pretty much amazing. It's not trashy or cakey looking and glides on smoothly. You control how much black you want. A good buy for versatility.

I also purchased, Bare Essentials 100% rose natural lip gloss. I love the green lines they feature on Sephora and being that lip gloss is something I wear often, I wanted something with no chemicals or parabens. This gloss is awesome. It goes on shiny and isn't thick and sticky. It adds a hint of color, although if you want something more dramatic I would go for a deep shade. It also lasts pretty long, even after drinking from a glass.

Finally, as I've stated before I am entirely loyal to my Dior mascara and had to purchase it again....it's simply the best. If only I could get my eyelashes to do this:

Speaking of Kim Kardashian I also got a free sample of her new perfume, and it's pretty nice! It's not entirely up my alley with the scent (it's more a bold/going out scent) but it's yummy.

That's my make-up round-up, there prob. won't be another for a year again, haha.

Back on the homefront

2010-01-20T09:34:00.002-05:00

Yes, my nomadic adventures have once again brought me back home.... The internship was amazing, just an experience I was ready to walk away from.... I will miss the friends and the incredible yoga practice Kripalu offered..... I wouldn't change a single thing about my decision and am incredibly happy:-) The unknown is pretty fun, not gonna lie....

On to the next venture..........

Bad Romance = good night

2009-12-04T11:32:00.004-05:00

Yesterday was spectacular. There is no other word to describe it. The day began like any other, kundalini, work, yoga, dinner, then my friend and I headed to the local amazing coffee shop for an "open cafe" night filled with Hair of the Dog martinis, sweet potato crusted bites, mini-chocolate cakes, and good convos. Then a proposition was placed in front of me, to hit up "Gay night" at a bar called The Groove, which was freakin' ridiculous. We went with my co-worker, his partner, two other guys (one gay one not) and the token two straight girlfriends were my friend and I. I have to tell you, this gay night had it going on. Everyone was super friendly, totally enjoying themselves, and the vibe was upbeat. My friend and I then found ourselves in a circle of all the guys we arrived with, dancing to "Groove is in the heart" and belting Lady Gaga, "Bad Romance" . I had a couple dance offs as well. I would glance over at my friend and we would just start laughing out of pure joy. I have never seen so many great male dancers in my life skaing their hips to Shakira. Gay men have confidence, enthusiasm, great moves, love lady gaga as much as me and know how to have a good time, PLUS no awkward heterosexual pick-up lines all night. My name is Erin, and I am a gay bar night addict.

I had 2 G&T's and am feeling the tiredness toady. I am currently at work, which seems a planet away from last night. I am heading home this weekend for some R&R.

Ra ra ra ra ra ra gaga oh lala.....

Have a good day!

Erin

Guitar strumming bliss

2009-11-20T14:19:00.001-05:00

Truth.

2009-11-16T17:24:00.002-05:00

“I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn’t know you had inside you. And it doesn’t matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends… you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he’ll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you’ll go somewhere new. And you’ll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade.”
— Iris, The Holiday

satnam. (truth)

Pleasantly Surprised

2009-11-16T16:55:00.006-05:00

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow."
~ Melody Beattie

I'm completely surprised by so many experiences I have had over the past 4 days. I'll begin with my yoga program I took part in this weekend. I signed up to do "Freedom and Flow: Baptiste Power Yoga". If you are not familiar with Baptiste yoga, it's a type of yoga that sets your body on fire (as the teacher described it) The amazing thing was that while I was immersed in the sweat and on verge of tears, I was thoroughly enjoying pushing myself to the limit. It wasn't like past exertions i have done (cardio, running, strength training etc..) where I didn't fully feel connected to the practice mentally.Yoga for me is partially a spiritual practice for me right now, so pushing my physical and mental limits while doing yoga was cataclysmic. At one point after I had "flipped my dog" into a back-bend and pulled up from my back bend, I caught myself smiling, even though I was physically pushed to the limit. It was, in fact, pleasantly surprising.

After the 10 hour yogapolooza of a weekend, I needed a release. I know in pure yogini fashion this wouldn't involve beers and football, but I'm only human. I was pleasantly surprised how much I got into the game and also how much I enjoyed the company of 2 volunteers here that I had never really talked to in the past. I share more in common with them than I thought. By the end of the game, I was slapping five, yelling, and trying to cheer everyone up when they lost (side note: do not do this after a major loss!) which in my opinion only increases the anger in die-hard fans. It was a great night and just what I needed.

I have also started a new Kundalini Kria (practice) with the girls. I surprised myself and woke up at 5 and 6am each morning to take part in the 'Super Humanhuman" breath work that is Kundalini. I miss the consistency of meeting with the girls each day to share space and release everything inside together.

So, it's not everyday I find myself doing yoga for 10 hours in one weekend, watching football and loving it thoroughly and committing to a kundalini practice that is sure to exceed 40 days. I guess the magic everyone has been talking about that exists here has taken a hold of me. Or I am just crazy. I feel like anything that comes my way is achievable and possible. Oh the places you will go!

I am a walking corny inspirational poster and for the first time, I don't have a sarcastic comment to counteract it. Surprising.

Oops..

Jersey Shore Show - Feeling Territorial

2009-11-13T11:34:00.003-05:00

So, I don't have TV here, and was checking out the newstories about the Noreaster hitting my hometown right now in South Jersey and came upon this unnerving mtv show.

Now I know you hear it all the time from Jersey-born residents that this is not the Jersey Shore, well I stand by the overheard rebuttal. It isn't. These are not permanent residents, they are vacationers who travel from near and far, infesting our beaches. They do give us business, but at a cost of our sanity.

MTV has decided once again to take the scum of the state, place them in a free beach house with unlimited alcohol and attention and wa-la, you have yourself entertainment.

Being a Jersey shore local, I have had my fair-share of run ins with "the shoobies", and worst off, "the guido shoobie" who thinks you can get to NYC directly from Long Beach Island, NJ, an ISLAND.

Once again local jersey shore residents are put in a bad light, but in stereotypical jersey-form, we endure the backlash, survive the shoobies, and know where the true heart of jersey resides.

So glad I don't have TV at this moment,
Erin

Kripalu & Oikos!

2009-11-13T10:33:00.001-05:00

I was pleasantly surprised to see Oikos promoting Kripalu with a great giveaway... Enter below and come visit me here, haha:

Enter to win an all expenses paid weekend trip for two to the amazing Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health!
Three ways to enter (choose one!):
1. Share a brief story about why you need to relax and say “Ohm.”
2. Share a recipe you create or tip using Oikos yogurt
3. Post a photo of you doing yoga in a toga (this one makes me giggle)
All entries (your post is your entry) must come from bloggers and include a link to the Oikos Facebook fan page and be emailed to oikos@360publicrelations.com by November 30, 2009. The winner will be selected at random and notified by 12/15/09.

<3

Indian Summer

2009-11-09T14:55:00.009-05:00

-a period of unusually warm weather in the autumn.

It's 70 degrees in Mass. and it was snowing 3 days ago....weather is a sarcastic little devil with a sense of humor....

My mom visited this weekend and reminded me how much I miss her and everyone back home. We stayed at a bed and breakfast, went out to dinner, beer/wine tastings, the Norman Rockwell Museum and shopping. It was another mini-retreat from my retreat life. I find it ironic I need a retreat from a retreat center. You can only take so many, "Tell me about how your feeling" conversations, I assume.

Monday has begun like every other Monday. Work. I HAD to open the windows around me and also got my Monday morning laundry done (the perks of living and working in the same place). I do miss having a clothesline at home to dry my clothes. I also really would love to sit on the beach today and read....then again I have a picturesque mountain view to work with so it's

all good. Life could be worse.

lately, I find myself in a weird limbo....I feel like I am developing and growing a lot since I have been here, and I find it strange it has not involved making a ton of friends and being super social. I have enjoyed being as you would call a semi-wallflower in the community here. I only share with a few people, though I know everyone and greet everyone I see. I feel the anonymity is freeing and also making me more aware of myself. My life may seem adventurous, obscure and unique to those not here, but in all actuality, I am just lucky I have ended up at a place that allows me to be myself, by myself sometimes. It sure has given me room to sit, breath in, and reflect on my journey.

Dream Away Zombie Halloween

2009-11-01T13:05:00.006-05:00

Me as Zombie Bride, my friend Morgan as "Fitness"
Last night's Halloween was something out of a movie....a fully entertaining, slightly obscure, amazingly fulfilling night.

First let me say it was FULLY entertaining walking through the main building where yoga classes and retreats are held, dressed as a zombie bride. Some participants are in full relax/meditation mode, and I probably f'ed that all up for them. It was kinda great though. For the most part my costume was well-recieved.

Then, we went to The Famous Dream Away Lodge which is rumored to have been an old Brothel back in the 2o's, which has seen the liks of Bob Dylan and Woodie Guthrie. It's in the middle of the woods, and you drive and drive through windy mountain roads until before your eyes sits the Dream Away. When you walk in you feel like you're entering a house party, because the layout is an old country house. There is a cash-only bar, an in-house band (who were guys all wearing gold underwear) and dogs on the premises, not to mention a fire pit. It was amazing. I felt like I was in a Halloween movie and at a really hip-cool party with verrrry interesting patrons.

I got a lot of praise for my costume. My friend did the makeup and after 2 showers,I still right now am trying to get the remains of it off. So, after Dream Away, we got lost for, oh, 2 hours through the shady mountains of Mass., and then, in pure Halloween, eerie, freaked-out fashion, drove passed a flipped over car with the headlights on. Another man was already there, but we were second on the scene. We waited there and my one friend who drove, went out (in pirate outfit) to check on the passengers. They were okay, but totally passed out drunk, upsidedown in the car. After the police got there we jetted home, while in the midst of it all, realized like in a Twilight Zone episode that we gained an hour for daylight savings time and it was only 2:20 instead of 3:20 in the morning.

It was definitely a memorable and once-in-a-lifetime Halloween to say the least

Why can't we dress up once a month??????????

I'm off to get free massage #2 from a massage school student here across the hall... Oh my life...;-)

A day of contemplation and creativity

2009-10-29T15:43:00.005-04:00

Today was one of those days you know you will remember for a while….

I woke up, ate breakfast and joined about 10 volunteers and staff members on a hike to a cemetery/Indian burial ground from the 1700-1800s. We got there, centered ourselves and decided to explore in silence, which added to the quiet, desolate and surprisingly peaceful atmosphere of the cemetery. It was a beautiful place. The mountains outlined the landscape and the stones were silhouetted on two huge mounds of earth. Some of the tombstones were corroded with moss and cracks in them, but they signified a life lived so long ago. Other stones were elaborate and included quotes and the age they were when they passed. There were so many people who were under the age of 10 that passed back then. One stone stood out to me. It was a man who had lived to be 98, back in the late 1700s, his inscription read “Solider of the Revolution”. He had survived the war and lived to be 98 in one of the most trying times in our history. Other tombstones of girls my age were also pretty jarring. It was such a contemplative and complacent morning. We all agreed that there was a certain energy there… When I got back I did a yoga class and ate.

Then as soon as I walked into work, I had my creativity flowing. I decided to create a Halloween costume in an hour before the work Halloween party. So, what did we do in the Marketing building? Made me a present billboard for our “Free Nights” promo going on. You can see the ad here http://kripalu.org/ . Here’s a picture of my ensemble:

Creativity at it’s best. We used paper clips for the suspenders and Derek in graphic design printed out the actual banner. It was a lot of fun and nice to let out some laughs throughout the day… Good times.

My day went from one of deep spiritual contemplation to an all out, creative party in my office.

All in the spirit of Halloween:-)

Un-Profound

2009-10-28T12:56:00.007-04:00

Happy Wednesday. My day started off really fast and busy and now is winding down and going slow. The weather is rainy and cold, so it doesn’t make me as bitter about being in my office all day. Tomorrow is Halloween dress-up day at work! I want to possibly go on this guided hike tomorrow during work (we'll see, wah wah) so I may have to bring my costume (haven't made it yet) with me. I also went to an open mic night last night, and got nostalgic thinking of singing in Colorado, and ate some bacon wrapper dates.....yummm. OH AND I moved into a new room, bigger, better and quieter than my previous room off the kitchen, so yay. And I'm obsessed with Mad Men. That's me summed up right now.

So, I’ve been reading “Julie & Julia” for the past couple weeks and I had a blog-related epiphany. Julie took something as simple as cooking a different meal from Julia Child’s book, wrote witty-honest and balsy entries based around this undertaking, and satisfied her readers, but more importantly satisfied herself. Before she began blogging, she was in a rut, had no focus, no inspiration and felt lost. In most situations like this, people make life-changing decisions or to put more blatantly really impulsive/sometimes bad ones. Then again sometimes they make amazing ones. In Julie’s case her decision did not include a monumental change like quitting her job. She did something bolder than the boldest of decisions. She gambled her life-changing happiness on this: a blog. One little blog in a sea of millions. I think it's more of a gamble than a huge life-altering change. She focused on writing and food, simply put.

It made me realize that sometimes I focus to much on the big questions I am bound to face in the near future; “Will I be here in a year”, “Who will I marry”, “Will I want to work here in a couple of months”, “What is HE up to”? “Will I ever fall in love”, “Will I ever lose more weight”? I should make like Julie, and ask myself, “What makes me happy”? “What do I get joy out of doing”? “Who can I surround myself with that makes me happy ”? Julie took her love of writing and fascination with cooking and channeled her blog, which channeled a book, which channeled a movie. All because she once was an unhappy girl, who stopped asking herself “When will things change”, and asked herself “What makes me happy”. A simple question, that when you answer it yourself, the answers reveal themselves through your actions. Act Don't React, my friends.

On that note, I think this blog needs some fall cleaning. I’m going to write to simply write. As simple as that. Whether it be profound or un-profound, monumental or mundane. I love writing, and setting parameters is out of the question. Who knows what may evolve?

Happy blogging,
Erin

Sister retreat

2009-10-26T15:07:00.005-04:00

I know i talk of all the amazing yoga classes, retreats, mediation talk and beautiful scenery at my disposal, but by far the best memory I have of being here so far was my sister's visit this weekend. A self-guided retreat with her was all I needed.

We went to Kripalu yoga classes, walked around town, went out at night, ate delicious food, went to Massachusetts Museum of Contemporary Art, Barrington Brewery and a Harry Potter corn maze (well we broke into it, haha). Great weekend.

Shedding the past

2009-10-15T10:16:00.004-04:00

The leaves are changing, then falling to the ground, shedding there beautiful colors all over the grass....it's pretty beautiful here....it got me thinking though about change.

As your reinvent yourself, along with it you should begin to shed different chapters of your past.

I’ve found that when I am in a situation where I feel like nothing is changing and my life is almost “stuck”, it’s harder to get over people or experiences of the past.

Since coming here, I have been on a mission to forget what happened this summer between me and a guy. I made my move a subconscious catalyst to forgetting it ever happened. I thought moving here would “shed” my past with him, and I would almost never think about what happened. Unfortunately, with all the amazing experiences, yoga classes, good conversations and mountain beauty, the past is still there. I have tried to talk about it, but when I round up the recap of what exactly happened, I am left with a question mark and an inadvertent “What the hell”? If him and I had been a book, there would be a search warrant out for the writer because quite frankly I am working with nothing from him.

This brings up a question I should be asking myself. How can I get over the past, when I don’t know if I can move him to the “past” box? I have no idea what he is doing, how he feels about me and most importantly, why it ended so hastily? From my end, I wish when I told him I was moving, we decided to remain friends. I wish I knew how he felt about it. If he cares I am gone. I wish I knew if he was dating again….And here I am; stuck in these whirlwinds of wondering and pondering and making myself crazy.

Presently, all I want is closure. I want to stop living in the past. I want to shed my skin and be strong enough to open myself up without the fear of someday having to shed the past again…I don’t want Mr. Wonderful to walk in and do it for me, I don’t want the mountains or the amazing experiences or even the great conversations to be the catalyst that moves me forward. I want reemerge and reinvent myself on my own…

Chakra Can

2009-10-09T14:36:00.003-04:00

Like my corny play on words? Happy Friday. I find I like writing the most on Fridays. My brain is already in weekend mode, and I can recap the week. Also, today marks my one month anniversary of arriving here. I made it! This week was pretty normal, then again here there is always something going on. Let’s see…

Last weekend was jam packed with hiking, biking and an intense yoga class, so by Sunday night I needed to unwind and went to the local pub with one of the volunteers here. It was nice to get off campus. Then Monday, work began and the week was kinda a whirlwind of work, yoga, and classes and eating somewhere in there. I still feel like a part of me is still landing here, and becoming comfortable with it all. You are basically around people all day everyday and alone time is precious.

I did a seminar last night on chakras and I had known some information about them but it was informative. I think I wasn’t fully in the mood to have a deep awakening within myself and face my demons. Chakras are the different energies that flow through your body and each individual person related differently to each one, or resonates more with another. The 3rd and the 5th were the ones I needed to awaken. It was a great way to compartmentalize my inner struggles and also realize I resonate the most with the heart chakra. I have no trouble there.

I also have decided to take part in the Reiki training offered here. Reiki is a Japanese word meaning "Universal Life-Force-Energy". Reiki is a system for channeling that energy to someone for the purpose of healing. I find I always tend to gravitate toward the mental and psychological side of understanding things, and I think taking part in this program will help me to better understand the power of energy and physical touch. I never wanted to fully delve into a massage programs etc… but I find I can integrate what I learn in the training into whatever road I chose to go down in life. Healing, helping and enriching the lives of others is definitely my number one reason for doing it. So yay.

Also, a lot has been going on with my family on a sad note. My grandma had major surgery, she is recovering fine, but sadly my cousin who has been battling cancer passed away. I hadn’t seen him since I was little; they lived far away and he was older, but he was my family, and my dad’s side is pretty devastated. I sometimes forget life is existing and flourishing and changing outside of where I am right now. This news definitely hit hard….my thoughts have been with my family. I think my decision to take the Reiki may have become stronger through dealing with this all lately.

I am on day 17 of my Kundalini experiment with my group (holding our hands up for 11 minutes), and I feel the vibrations and tingling during it throughout my body getting stronger each day. The pain is also becoming less. This also has been a great release each day.

I would say overall I am extremely fortunate and happy to be here. A lot of questions still pop up each day pertaining to my future here or just in general, and I am okay with that. Since being here, I’ve been able to face these questions instead of burying them and avoiding.

Tonight I am not sure what my play is yet. My one friend invited me to a gathering at someone’s house, but she’s not sure she’s going to go. Either way, it’s rainy and a perfect day for warmth, comfort and relaxation.

This quote rings true for me this week…

There is no enlightenment outside of daily life. – Thich Nhat Hanh

Animoto.com

2009-10-09T14:05:00.001-04:00

On this Harvest Moon...

2009-10-02T14:12:00.006-04:00

Happy Friday! I’ve been MIA from a lot lately. I visited home last week from Friday to Wednesday, and now am getting back in the swing of things. Being home made me feel refreshed. It’s like a big ball of comfort that’s soft, and cozy and indulgent. I am not saying being in Massachusetts isn’t. Here I am the person everyone has known for a month, and not who everyone back home has known for years. I guess what I am saying is, I am still carving my place out here and still feeling like my comfort ball is more like a rubber band ball, ready to snap at anytime.

Everything about living, working and even eating every meal here sounds ideal, and it is. There is such a schedule; you get to know everyone really fast because you are with them all the time and there is no cooking! Although I came here with every intention of feeling independent and having myself grow, I sometimes wish I could lay on a couch in my own living room, blast my own music while cooking a delicious shrimp/feta/orzo casserole. I guess accompanying change are reservations.

When I start to have these reservations, I stop and try to let my thought process be. When I do this, my overall mood is happy and content. So far, I feel all my experiences here have been positive, different from where I lived last summer. I think at this time in my life, this is where I should be. But I would love the occasional television show and bag of chips like us all:-)

I find a lot of the people that surround me here I can relate to, and they are all trying to gain something from this experience, not simply to fill a couple months of time. Everyone has there own demons and their own strengths, and it’s a harmonious cohabitation of driven individuals.

At times I feel alone, overly-stimulated, ecstatic, happy, excited and at peace, and when I collide with these emotions they are heightened. It may be the absence of distraction, or the presence of myself.

Maybe it’s just the harvest moon this Sunday that’s to blame for my feelings of fullness…

"Because I'm still in love with you
I want to see you dance again
Because I'm still in love with you
On this harvest moon." -Neil Young

Act don't react

2009-09-24T10:18:00.004-04:00

It sounds like a slogan we all heard back in 4th grade, when learning about how to take car of a bully. When you think about the actual context of that saying, it rings true to so many aspects of our daily lives. Each day, my Kundalini group has been meeting and doing an "Act don't React" chakra. We've been using the simple, "Arms over your head for 11 minutes" action and comparing it to how we deal with our days. At first you feel as if you can handle it, your arms aren't hurting as much, then instead of repelling the amount of pain you begin to feel as the minutes go on, you embrace it and handle it as it comes.

When the girls and I talked, we all felt like the day after we did the chakra, we all felt unstoppable; we felt like we could handle anything...Instead of reacting to the bad (much like the pain when we hold our hands up), we embraced the bad with the good and didn't try to distract ourselves from the present emotion. This DID cause most of us to have pretty intense emotions all day.

Personally, I've been unbelievably happy and grounded since beginning the "Arms project", haha. I don't know if it is attributed to actually lifting my hands over my head for 11 minutes the past couple of days, or meeting with the girls and reflecting, but all I know is this "supposed" transformation of letting anger and everything out seems to be happening. My dreams also have been very emotional and visual... don't know why....

Each day at 5:55 we will be raising our hands for the 11 minutes and hopefully coming out transformed, or just a little humbled by the simple life lesson holding your hands over your head helps you learn...

P.S. - The CBS shoot was amazing. I had a great turnout out for the yoga class and so many guys showed up which was both adorable and thoughtful. This place really is amazing....

I'm heading back to Jersey this weekend. Maybe I'll bestow the "Arm's project" on a couple of my weary friends who think for the most part that I am gonna turn into a Patchouli wearing Birkenstock wearing hippy up here.... Which is def. not true.

Wait....shoot. I'm wearing my Birkenstocks today.... only because they're comfy.... riiiiiiiiiiight.

<3Erin

Kundalini

2009-09-21T22:20:00.006-04:00

Tonight was magical.

It was one of the best nights I have ever had. New, fun, emotional, high, low, amazing.

One of the girls here hosted a "Kundalini" night, (Kundalini is a practice of concentrating breathing exercises to awaken different chakras in your body (i.e. your heart, mind, digestion even sex drive haha). Basically it's to awaken. After you do the exercises (for about 2 mintues each) you feel almost high or in a different state of consciousness due to the immense amount of oxygen you are breathing in and the poses you're in.

We all were dressed in ridiculous clothing, drew ridiculous pictures and just had a ridiculous time. It's hard to explain the great energy and fun into words. It was simplicity and it was bliss and it reminded me why I came here in the first place. To share the joys and craziness of life with the ones around you... without any outside distractions or entertainment but each other. I felt like a kid again, almost.

At the end we did a posture and held our arms in it for 11 minutes. If you do it supposedly for 40 days, for 11 minutes holding your arms out and up, you'll feel changed at the end. It is supposed to let go of all anger. We all did it together and some were yelling, crying, laughing and I was on the silent side near the end. My arms were shaking and we all wanted to give up but we endured it. So crazy, so fun, so great.

AND maintenance took down my bunk-bed so I am upgraded to a sole single bed. I'm moving up in the world.

CBS shoot madness begins tomorrow here... DUN DUN DUN. Just find my inner strength and stillness and I'll make it through. Like Kundalini, chaotic yet awakening.

Peace,
Erin

Orange peeking....

2009-09-16T11:36:00.002-04:00

Good Morning,

In Massachusetts today it’s brisk and cold, the perfect fall temperature. I am starting to notice the leaves changing and it's exciting.

Last night we had a little “get to know you” meeting in my building. It was fun. Everyone is so different but so passionate about being here. Um… I also totally watched the True Blood finale on my computer last night, and it was sooooo indulgent and amazing.

Work is more low-key today. I’m learning in the media world, everything is time-sensitive. You have to be able to hold-back and wait for one tidbit of info before you move onto something new. It’s a push and pull of waiting and then going full speed into doing.

I signed up for a program this weekend called “Flow & Let Go”, a Vinyasa program that incorporates ways to live your life through yoga. It's about rejuvenating the flow of “prana shakti,” the energy of your innate life force. I think it’ll be a good class to take so I can learn the inner workings of everything that goes into my practice both physically and mentally. I’m totally excited.

I feel at ease, and not as homesick as I would when I was in Colorado, due to the fact that I’m literally only 4 hours away. It’s nice.

Everything is going well. Life is good. I needed this positive change. Karma does come back to lift you upJ

Erin

Meditation talk

2009-09-15T09:42:00.005-04:00

It's funny when you transfer an activity that barely gets recognized verbally and sit down with people and talk about it, what crazy things happen. Yesterday, I attended a Dharma/Mediation talk after work to reconnect myself to meditation. We talked about not having any preconcieved notions about it and not trying to reach a goal. Everyone admitted to having stuggled, and it helped to hear everyone's confessions. It was a good class.

Last summer, I meditated 3 times a day almost everyday, and since getting back home and being in my comfort zone/distractions galore, I hadn't gotten back to it.

Since moving here, I feel it calling to me again. I feel my mind quieting already, but also yearning for meditation with myself.

Since arriving, I've noticed ways I have been actively changing my pace of life. They are simple, but make a world of difference when contributing to stress.

Being mindful. Listening to people and beign aware of my surroundings. So many times I'm thinking about my destination and don't even look up to see what's around me.

Walking slower. I walk reeeeally fast. I'm learning to slow down.

Talking slower. Self-explanatory

Eating slower. Scarfing down a lunch all summer while in the midst of serving people was no way to eat.

Listening and not having to interject after every statement. Sometimes you can add to someone's story by giving your opinion or your own story, but I find it takes away from the other person. I've been trying to take what people are telling me and not try to make my own point.

Being here has been great so far. A way easier transition than Shambhala, (maybe not living in a tent has something to do with it, ha).

So I know a "Meditation Talk" is kind of an oxymoron, but it works.

Kind of like life... Living in the present and the constant stuggle of putting the past in the past and trying not to anticipate the future.

Have a great day,
Erin

Getting "centered"

2009-09-13T22:20:00.002-04:00

Hello from Massachusetts! I have up and left everything that was familiar for the unfamiliar. I accepted an internship at the biggest yoga and wellness center in the country. It's been a pretty emotionally charged couple of days. To sum it up in simplistic terms, I have never experienced more warmth, loneliness, aliveness, energy, fear, and anticipation in all my life. PHEW. Here I am. sitting in a house with 35 other interns/volunteers here to do anything from marketing to making beds. My room is small but livable, but I am learning living off the kitchen is no fun. It's loud and I know I'm gonna get annoyed, lol.

Since being here I've tried out over a dozen different yoga classes/workshops to get acquainted. They were all amazing. I've been kayaking, watched a concert and learned tai-chi. My job is related to public relations, and I am basically my own boss, since my boss will be at a remote office. It is a little intimidating, being that I only halfway know what I am doing, and I will have to make a lot of judgment calls.

My body feels stretched and almost healed after the strenous summer of serving coffee to vacationers. The food here is delish, but I could see how people get sick of it. It IS all organic/natrual goodness. I had a piece of vegan cheesecake even.

Waking up every morning at practicing yoga then walked 50ft to work is pretty amazing. The loud voices outside the kitchen right now are not. I guess there is some dark while getting closer to the light.

I miss home, but being only 4 hours from there is comforting.

I need to get some sleep. I'm slightly nervous about tomorrow... ugh.

Today I met Jon Stewart

2009-09-04T19:54:00.001-04:00

Today I served Jon Stewart a skim iced latte at work.

I told him I loved his show, awkwardly.

I was starstruck because he was verrry hot.

I bet you can't say that everyday.

It was awesome.

I'm Moving!

2009-09-02T22:21:00.002-04:00

I got an internship at the largest yoga and wellness center in the country.

I'm moving to Massachusetts in one week.

I'm overwhelmed, scared but ecstatic.

Can't right more, but I will, don't worry.

It's all happening.....

100th Post!

2009-08-23T15:34:00.005-04:00

This is my 100th post. My blog definitely has had schizophrenia over the past 100 posts. I think it definitely has been something fun to have and has been a good outlet for writing and posting current things I love. I look back and go, "WOW I forgot I love that song, or I forgot that even happened.

The past 2 years have been polar opposites. The only constant over the past 2 years has been basically me. There has been different places, people, emotions, loves, losses......I think I need the next year to be somewhere in the middle.

Colorado was extremely adventurous and tumultuous but exciting. Being home has been comforting, easy but it's too easy. No rent to pay, no struggle.... I miss the struggle.

So.... I have been in the works of finding an internship/job on the east coast; Somewhere a drive away from home, far enough away to be on my own and the opportunity to discover a new part of the country. It excites me. I embrace this change.

As for the update on me and my friend turned into more. We are in a weird place. He wanted to date me, then hesitated due to his lingering feelings for his ex, then wanted me again, then didnt' speak to me for 4 weeks, then I didn't return his call because I was mad, and now, we are basically playing mental games on eachother, wishing we could figure out what the hell we are doing. Phew. I typed more than I anticipated. It is what it is, and the timing is off... or something.

So next 100 posts or to the next year, my message is this. Would you meet in the middle somewhere between this year and last and I think I'll be alright....

Will you meet me in the middle, will you meet me in the air?
Will you love me just a little, just enough to show you care?
Well I tried to fake it, I dont mind sayin, I just cant make it

Syrup and Honey

2009-08-19T16:05:00.000-04:00

This is amazing. That's all I have to say.

An Image

2009-08-12T19:39:00.003-04:00

One image can invoke so much emotion. This one screams summer and beginning of all our separate roads we took. The end of the beginning. Time to move on, but gripping onto eacth other until the last possible second. Bittersweet. I miss all my friends!

Can't Keep No Good Boy Down

2009-08-06T17:51:00.003-04:00

This song was on the closing credits of Entourage, and being the psycho I am, I memorized the lyrics and found it on the internet. I love self-discovering bands then seeing them get popular and giving myself a mental pat on the back, haha... So.....

The band is The Parlor Mob; The song is, "Can't Keep No Good Boy Down". it's a clap-along, rock/folk sing along that gives you the urge to sing along....

Listen and be dazzled and more importantly happy.... (the quality is ehhh)

Crazy as me

2009-08-06T17:38:00.002-04:00

Song for the soul on a rainy Thursday...

I'm used to being alone
Except for six month flings with diamond rings
And phone bills that outweigh the phone
This is the life that I chose
I got no complaints if he is
If he ain't, and if he is I guess he'll send me a rose

Just don't ask me for the truth if you choose to lie honey
And don't try to open my door with your skeleton key
Some folks seem to think I only got one problem
I can't find nobody as crazy as me

I still love what I know
I love to ride alone and sing a song and listen to the radio
You can ride along and if you change your mind, well
That's just fine, but there's somethin' that you got to know

Just don't ask me for the truth if you choose to lie honey
And don't try to open my door with your skeleton key
Some folks seem to think I only got one problem
I can't find nobody as crazy as me...

Ode to my neglected blog

2009-08-02T07:34:00.003-04:00

My life has been crazy
but I think I'm just lazy
I miss writing to you
There's been a couple dozen times or two
Where I was feeling happy and blue
But did not type to you...
In short my life has been really great
A few shortcomings, like the guy wanted to date...
Fate came and went and the timing wasn't right
Emotions were crazy night after night
I've been in a funny place because a year ago this week
I was trekking home from Colorado; Family and friends I wished to seek
I miss the adventure and the rush of living somewhere new
So job apps. have been going out all over, where I'll go I haven't a clue...
Friends, family, beach and working that's basically my routine
So sorry I've been neglecting; I'm only human; I guess you wouldn't know what I mean.

~Erin

Transitions

2009-06-09T19:58:00.004-04:00

As you can tell, I have been lacking in the blog portion of my life. Lately I haven't felt like chronicling what I have been doing, for the reasons that I have been so happy and busy and living in the moment and recapping wasn't a priority. Now that I have a night to reflect on the past 2 weeks I feel like a big deep breath is necessary.

Work has been work and good. I like the job. I have a job interview Thursday though for another opportunity so we'll see. My best friend Kim (previous post) and I are heading to Florida in 2 weeks to see my newly pregnant best friend Bridget, who just got back from Kuwait. They are expecting and it is very exciting!

Also, I literally didn't goto the gym for 2 weeks (yes I know). Blame it on summer starting up, early mornings at the beach over gym, friends, work, what have you. I have gone the past 2 days and hope to get back in the swing of it. I'm the lowest weight I've been in a while, surprisingly. I think it's because of the business and eating pretty well.

I had my first salad from my garden this morning. It's growing (well most of it) and it was monumental.

I reconnected with one of my best guy friends last Friday and I'll only reveal that we have always been good friends, but it's funny what distance, growing up and that indefinable contentedness you get after being away from someone you care about for so long does to you. So there may be a glimmer of something there between us. Who knows...

I am very sure of everything present in my life right now, the future is never certain and the bottom line is I am genuinely happy.

Hope all is well, and sorry for the hiatus.... Life happened to me:-)

Best Friend

2009-05-27T21:59:00.005-04:00

Take One.Take Two

My best friend Kim and I. My necklace was purchased today at a small shop on L.B.I. I absolutely love it.

Now to more meaningful and important topics. I wanted to express how necessary it is in life to have a best friend that understands you, listens, laughs with you and makes life easier. My friend Kim and I have known each other since 4th grade and her, me and our other best friend Bridget (who just got back from Kuwait) have been inseparable since. I didn't realize until I moved 4,000 miles away, how much I thrive on time with my friends. They are a mirror of yourself, and shed light on the trials of life. What I would've given to have them with me when I was so sad and alone out west. It's like having a therapist with you at all times, who also goes out with you and tells you that the shirt your trying on is hideous. They are the ones who when your family is being, well, your family, that you can call up and they know exactly what to say and where to take you. Your thoughts, questions, worries and fears can be washed away with the wisdom from them. I am blessed to have Kim and my other friends in my life, because they have always been there, even when I was 4,000 miles away:-)

Love is many splendored pictures

2009-05-24T17:16:00.010-04:00

I Love...............................................
Flying squirrel sightings. (I like to call them Bushbabies)
Grey stormy skies. oh, and Wawa snuck in there somehow too....
Sunsets on the bay.

My sisters face. My dad believes in the "candid photo"
I can see myself as a Tuscan gardener.....someday.....hopefully.
$2.00 Thrifted Purse. Not sure what the circle hook was for back then...
Vera Bradley Clutch. Finally a pattern I love

Pedicure. Orange. Flowers. Worth every cent.

Kick-off of summer @ The Shell.These things make me very happy.
Unpictured - Going to visit my best friend who just got back from Kuwait at the end of June in FL! Yay

Good Morning SUMMER!

2009-05-22T14:57:00.004-04:00

Photo via Sabino

Summer is "unofficially" here according to Memorial Day kick-off. I live by the ocean, near L.B.I., which attracts many, MANY, tourists from all over. While they DO bring business to our little island, they also bring traffic, massive amounts of unnecessary beach items, questions I couldn't even dream of & sometimes pushy attitudes. The pace of the island in the spring, fall & winter is calm, serene, laid-back and quiet. Locals cringe when this weekend rolls around. When summer arrives it's like a huge transformation. You get unfamiliar faces, people with vacation schedules & stress . It's a schizophrenic place. The island is like a huge hotel and we are accommodating people from all over the country.

This will the first summer in 3 years I am home, so I am reminded of this pivotal cross-over to summer. Who knows if I'll survive it, especially working in the midst of it.

Does your town change personalities in the summer???

Beach.

2009-05-21T07:33:00.004-04:00

Today is the 1st day beach day of the summer. Colorado, I feel like I am betraying you this year, but my heart belongs to Long Beach Island. Growing up near the water, I feel at home when I am on the beach... The mountains were like a short love affair that will someday be reclaimed. Yet, my first love will always be the ocean.

Hope whatever scenery you're enjoying today brings you happiness!

What fuels you?

2009-05-18T09:30:00.006-04:00

I woke up this morning, very pleased that I had the whole day off to do whatever I please. A wave of "To-dos" started flooding my head, but I ignored them all. I decided to reflect on the activities, places, things and emotions that fuel me and almost give me a tune up after a busy week. They include in no particular order,

1. Coffee drinking on my back porch
2. Channel surfing mindless television
3. Going mindless shopping by myself
4. Manicure/Pedicure
5. Bike riding
6. Making mixed CDs (yes I am sooo old-skool)
7. Searching for quotes online
8. Shutting off my cellphone
9. Job-hunting in my dream cities (in moderation)
10. Talks with my sister
11. Looking up ____ photography (insert object, weather type or place) online
12. Yoga
13. Turquoise & red, together
14. Grey skies
15. Coffee shops
16. Reading Rolling Stone, keeping a pad & paper near to write down music
17. Gardening
18. Writing/Reading
19. The feeling of possibilities, not too far away...
20. Sundresses
21. Buying cards for people, just because
22. Driving my jeep, windows down
23. Convos about music
24. Dirty martinis
25. Guys with pretty eyes
26. Beach
27. The perfect song that comes on the radio with the perfect lyrics
28. Irises/Lilies

That was a total random assortment, mainly pertaining to my mood today.... But when I am in the company of any of those, they fuel me....breath a little life back into my busy mind...

What fuels you?

Country music would make a good boyfriend

2009-05-13T21:22:00.008-04:00

So I flipped on the radio today and have been on a Bob Dylan kick, so I switched to my country radio station and immediately found myself smiling, daydreaming, tapping my hands on the steering wheel... I don't know why this was happening. It was like I heard a silent Pavlovian bell in the drums beats of the song and guitar twang and endorphins started running through me. I do normally listen to some country, I don't stereotype any music, & THIS SONG was what did it to me:

I know the lyrics in country music aren't hard to decipher or interpret like a tori amos or shins song, but I appreciate country's ability to give me an emotion that is simple and happy. Sometimes too many "deep introspective poetry infused imagery induced songs" make me think too much. I start questioning the meaning of life, my love life, life's little mysteries, to be or not to be, etc... I absolutely LOVE poetic and beautiful lyrics, but sometimes I want to simply hear a song like Keith Urban's "You look good in my shirt", cause man it would be nice if someday a guy really thought that, or Kenny Chesney's "We were brave, we were crazy, we were mostly young", and Jessica Andrew's "Just one stop at the ATM grab a hundred bucks and a real good friend", one-liner from her song "Good Time". This does not include depressing "emo" caliber country songs that talk about drowning in whiskey bottles and having all my exes live in Texas..... But even THOSE songs have an up-front way of getting their pain across.... no davinci coding, WTFs from those guys.......

Country music, if morphed into human form, would definitely make a great boyfriend. It's no-nonsense, to the point, simple, romantic in a bearable cheese factor level, climatic (I'm talking about the choruses! dirty dirty) and full of life. He could kill bugs & serenade me to sleep with a guitar. He would question my need from "Madden" shoes, wondering when Joe Madden converted to a shoe stylist, but it wouldn't matter. He would love me for the simple things. For me, dating "country" would be ideal right now in my life. I've been with the "Indie/Folk" genre, "Classic Rock", even the unclassifiable "Maroon5/Third Eye Blind/Goo Goo Dolls" bores, and I was not impressed. So bring on a guy like country music and I'm sure I'll be smiling, daydreaming, having fun, without trying to interpret anything. Ye haw.

Coffee Order Stereotypes

2009-05-08T17:43:00.008-04:00

So today at work I made an observation....You can tell a lot about someone by their coffee beverage of choice. So I present you the "Coffee Order Stereotypes", or observations according to me:

1. Mocha/Vanilla/Java Frappachino Latte with 1/2 one flavor and half another.
- pre-teens from the land of never-getting-fat
- 20 something who vents about long day and needs it
- A grown man who whispers the order than adds, "Can you add whipped cream?)

2. Latte with more than 1 flavor shot
- People who don't like coffee, but still want to feel cool drinking it. (Plus get an energy boost)

2. Coffee.
-Anyone over the age of 18

3. Tall/Grande/Venti Latte
-People who eat,sleep,breath Starbucks and see the world as a size Tall, Grande, or Venti.

4. Cappuccino (dry)
-Usually pushy, frigid biotches

5. Cappuccino (flavor shot)
-More cheerful biotches

6. Latte
-Women, usually with cute purses

7. Iced Coffee
People on the go, duh, usually chatty & nice.

8. Iced Coffee (half the ice)
A-holes

9. Americano (hot water/espresso)
Men who are holding a brief case or blueprints etc..

10. Tea
Women who have great skin or guys who talk about the weather and are usually hot.

11. Chai Latte
Eccentric looking people, nicest of all.

12. Smoothie
Everyone but the kitchen sink.

13. Esspresso, straight up
Crazy mofos

14. Their own concoction
This road can diverge into either a nasty person who watches you make the drink or a overly nice person that is grateful you're even making it.

Additions:
Half/Half - People over the age of 30
Skim - Women
Whole - Men
Splenda - Women
Raw Sugar - 20 somethings

That's my unofficial list. From working one day this shiz occurs like clockwork. What does YOUR order say about you....hahahahaha....

Thanks a latte.
Erin

Reclaiming Paris

2009-05-06T20:50:00.007-04:00

I finished Reclaiming Paris by Fabiola Santiago and I must say it was quite the read. Lusty, romantic, heartbreaking, bittersweet & full of revelations & poetry. It is not your average romance novel at all. Marisol, the main character, deals with past exile from Cuba, moving to America, defeating past demons and of course her international love affairs. The book reminded me that you do not need to specify an "arrival time" when you say to yourself, "I am finished, this is me; I will never change". It proves that at the most unexpected times in your life, places, people and even a moonlit night can change you. I would recommend it highly to those of us who hate the cheese factor in most romance novels and like strong, independent characters with spunk.

Short excerpt:

"I question myself all the time, during the frenzy of my drives to meet him whenever he has a moment, during the wanting nights in my own bed, on days like today when the what-ifs of history haunt me and I confuse the residual scent of losses with the fragrance of new desire."

So far Chronicles - Bob Dylan is phenomenal:-)

As for my life recently, I have been enjoying my work routine. I got thrown a curve ball though when I unexpectedly got accepted to attend a cinematography seminar in California. I do not know if I can get off of work (annoying dilemma). People for all over the world attend to learn about the pursuit of independence, liberty & freedom in the times we live in now through the arts. It sounds so interesting and I would get to see Orange County, Cali! The question is though, can I get off work? I don't want to lose this job, I really like it a lot.....UGH.

Also, I STILL haven't been back to the gym since Canada, lol, but that will change tomorrow at Zumba. Talk about a hiatus. I have maintained my weight loss though so yay. Hope all is well...~Erin

Meditation of the Day

Eventually, there is the right place in this world for all of us - My mom in response to my best friend finding a job!! Yay!

Imitation of Life

2009-05-04T08:29:00.006-04:00

No time to write today, so I thought I'd share a song I love. The video is different but almost mesmerizing. It's a clever song & a clever video. Hope you enjoy:

R.E.M. - New Music - More Music Videos

---Hyacinth is a cool world to say, haha.

Working today, I haven't seen the sun in 5 days...... soooo much rain, but I've finished one book. On to Chronicles - Bob Dylan.

I bought Together Through Life- Bob Dylan. It breathes soul, raw lyrics & old-world blues. I love it, basically. I feel like when he's singing a wise old man is prophesying to me.

Meditation of the Day
Be less curious about people and more curious about ideas.
-Marie Curie

Canada...& I am spent

2009-05-02T17:30:00.005-04:00

WOW! Canada was amazing! The river, fishing, town, people and spending time with my dad was amazing. I have about 100 pictures that I haven't even had time to upload yet! I caught 5 steelhead rainbow trout and my dad caught 9! It wasn't all about catching the fish though. Float fishing is about patience, technique, concentration and focus. Those fish take you for a ride! They come from the ocean to spawn back in the river where they grew up. My birthday was great up there too. My dad took me to a British-cuisine restaurant (it was different) which was reeeally good. Like expected, I ate A LOT of meats, fish and chili and the occasional Molson. It was a once in a lifetime experience and I cannot wait to go again! While I was there. I found myself missing Colorado, new experiences, challenges and adventures and the wheels in my head began turning on my next "move".

Speeding up to the present, I am in full-swing at my new job and today I worked/trained for about 10 hours. We drove 12 hours yesterday from Canada, so I am volatile, tired, and in a very agitated mood. I don't usually get like this, but I think the 12 hour fishing days, driving and work has caught up to me.

My mom and sis took care of my garden when I was gone and everything sprouted when we had our heat wave! The peas are climbing, the lettuce and tomatoes and spinach are coming up, EVERYTHING is growing so well. I am so happy.

I will post pictures another day, I am sooooo tired. Did I mention that already?

Goodnite!

My shoes are made from a bag!?

2009-04-24T17:17:00.007-04:00

Before I leave for Canada, I thought I would share my new purchase today... I am kind of obsessed. Behold, BC Footwear's "I Used to be a rice bag" sandals:

At first I just liked the unique pattern, but when got closer and read the tag, I was surprised to see they were made from old rice, detergent and supply bags. The creators thought, "Why waste colorful bags that end up in a landfill?" Well, when life hands you trash, make shoes:
Excuse the post-work feet No two pairs are the same either

Helping the Earth one shoe at a time!!!!!!!!!!!

~*Erin*~

Going to Canada

2009-04-23T23:22:00.004-04:00

I'm heading to Canada to go fishing this week as well as celebrating my 24th (eeek) on Tuesday!!! I won't be posting until next weekend.... I'm sure I'll have my fair share of riverside fish frying, beans, chili, trail mix, coffee and beer, I mean I am going with my Dad and his Canadian friends will be there. On vacation I find it necessary to take in the local color and cuisine and to chill and have a good time........Wish me luck!!

Have a great end of April!!
Peace!

Earth Day is every day

2009-04-22T10:44:00.003-04:00

Happy "Official Earth Day". I unfortunately have to work.

Wish I was gardening... the satisfaction from getting dirt under your fingernails and seeing green plants 2 weeks later.....

I find it great that an expected 175 countries and over a billion people are said to "celebrate Earth Day".

Have a great day, enjoy mother earth!

My take...

2009-04-21T18:55:00.004-04:00

In response to all the hoopla around Miss California's answer at the Miss USA pageant,

She sounded like an idiot answering that question, but I won't bad-mouth her because of her opinion, because it is HER opinion. It may not be yours or mine, or Perez Hilton's, but it is hers.

"I do not agree with a word you say, but I will fight to the death for your right to say it" - Voltaire

Worked

2009-04-21T17:35:00.010-04:00

Today I started my high-powered job as power barista on L.B.I., lol. It was a chill day, because I have made coffee drinks before in my many jobs. I love the owner, I love the location (1/2 block from beach), and I love the fact that some days I can start work early enough to make it to the beach. I am finally making some dollas again, JEEZ, it took long enough.

This morning my sis and I went to our fav. strength class and our tri's got worked pretty hard. I am noticing that I am getting stronger with each week I do the strength classes. We also did a TKO (kickboxing style) class last night. Fun, Fun.

Flashback to this weekend: I had a great time in Philly celebrating my college roomate's 24th. It's always nice to reconnect with friends. It reminds me a lot of why they became my friends in the first place. It's always like we never left college when we are all together. Good Times.

Meditation of the Day
I've been thinking a lot lately about "chapters" in your life you used to believe would occur at certain times. For example, when I was 12 I thought I would be married with children by 23 because, obviously you meet your husband when you're 20 (because 20 is soooo old to 12 yearolds), take 2 years to travel then pop them kids out by 23 . I never factored in that I would be in college, had gotten over a catastrophic break-up right before leaving, or had enjoyed the perks of college life so very much. Instead, my chapters have been written accordingly:

Chapter 1: Beginning of College. Contents: Boys. Beer. Best Friends. Beer. Battered chicken fingers, Blackhaus. Bars. Boys. Transition to becoming a better person...

Chapter 2: End of College. Minor mid-life crisis, discovering who I was, Best Friends (dwindled down to a couple), interning, boys, better beer, becoming smarter (and by smarter I mean realizing I could've saved a ton of money by pregaming with Franzia boxed wine before going out), fizzy drinks, spring break, crying at graduation, Transition to "get me the hell out of my hometown" epiphany.
Footnote: Went backpacking, fell in love with the mountains.dharma bums........something pulled me West.....
Chapter 3: Colorado, baby. Moving across the country, starting from scratch, confident, feeling invincible, mountains, mountain men, micro-brewed beer, real job, real money, real spending!!!, real independence, real town I want to live in forever, more friends, crazy-ass OCD roommate, living alone for the rest of my life, cultured, exposed, alone, homesick, lived in a tent for work, 8,000 feet, meditation, mountain sunsets, yoga, no connection to outside, raw, new, amazing, great friends, real, dharma, karma, materialism, money, no money, feeling pulling me east, homesick, sacrifice, transition to crossroads.....
Chapter 4: Hometown glory. High-school acquaintances ,weird, small town, back to solid friends, solid family, sister, backpacking, beach, ex-boyfriend (short appearance), regret, tears, humbled, lost, unemployed, freelance, feet on the ground, head in the clouds, where do I go?, who should I become?, questions, regret, failure, Colorado, New Jersey, Colorado, New Jersey, friends, love, yearning for answers, talks, recession, frustration, suck it up, strong, pride, barista it'll be for now, save money, okay, happy, content, still yearning, still craving more, surrounded by love.
Chaprter 5: Unwritten.....

Sure, someday I'd like to have a butterflies in the stomach relationship, a family of my own, a house, clearly a puppy, even a car newer than 1995, but I have never set a goal to acquire any of these. I'm okay with embracing these ups and downs. It excites me that I still have so many feelings, experiences and loves to conquer. Setting a timeline will leave me with nothing to strive for now, in the present. I strive to be loved, happy, excited, hopeful, open-minded and never satisfied; always keeping my eye on the horizon.

What chapters in your life have you experienced?

Blog Revelation

2009-04-19T18:18:00.006-04:00

I had an epiphany today while browsing through some blogs here and there. I always feel like I have a lot to say about life, culture, current issues, music, likes, dislikes, daily happenings, gardening, boys (lol), although focusing my writing only about working out and eating healthy etc... isn't really "fun". I constantly feel like I am limiting what I say. I'm not enjoying writing this way. It basically is what it is, literally. I like when I take a good gym class or go for a bike ride and write about the experience, but to tell you the truth, I am bored. Bored with trying to limit my posts to my healthy decisions, because some days are active, healthy and inspiring, but others I just feel like writing. period. Devoting each and every post to my "healthy" choices and doting on which ones I didn't make, I find I become obsessive with it, feeling guilty when I do not follow through. Being fit & working out etc... is a big part of my life, more now than before, but I have lost a lot of creativity in writing each day just focusing on healthy decisions I make or don't make day in and day out.

Enough rambling. The bottom line is, this is my blog, and I am not going to limit my content anymore just to center around diet and exercise. So many other aspects of my life contribute to my healthy path both mentally and physically; my friends, family, writing, reading and music contribute as well. I want to share deeper writings than my food and exercise choices. My life is full and I intend on filling this blog with all I love. Primadharma will still be a blog about "one path" to a healthy lifestyle, but a wider path filled with posts on life, love, happiness, and the daily questions I feel all 20-somethings get day in and day out. When it comes down to it, that is what life is all about.

Phew. That was long but makes me happy. I look forward to writing each day and start using this little page in the vast blogworld as my creative outlet:-)
Erin

Meditation of the Day
Journal writing is a voyage to the interior - Christina Baldwin

Crazy days, but they make me smile

2009-04-18T10:52:00.004-04:00

Sorry for the long hiatus! I have been crazy busy this week with getting stuff together for Canada, celebrating my birthday (it's actually April 28th, but I'll be in Canada), and visiting friends. I start work next week at a cute coffee shop on L.B.I. too. It's funny how I am actually so excited to work there, (actually ANYWHERE) at this point. My bday out was accompanied by one to many shots, but it was my "mock" celebration lol. Next week, I am going out to dinner with the fam to my favorite place "Mud City Crab House", then in Canada, I am pretty sure I'll be eating whatever concoctions my dad creates on his little stove.

The "healthy lifestyle" has been touch and go this week, some days I've felt great, but my workout has been on hold since Monday due to all of these crazy days. April is always jammed packed for me.

I lost another 2 pounds, woohoo! I really don't know how exactly, but I feel like with all the strength work with cardio definitely has helped. Changing up your routine really works!

I am off to Philly tonight to celebrate my good friend Charlene's bday and I'll get to see a lot of my college friends I miss so much. I love reunions with them, and I always feel like I am back in college when we are all together. We are going to have lunch at an outdoor place by the river... It's beautiful outside today.

All in all, these days have been crazy but in the midst, I am feeling good. Moving home was hard, leaving Colorado was harder, but days where I spend time with the ones I love, I feel like it was worth it in the end....

Have a great weekend!!

Meditation of the Day
We spend our whole lives searching for all the things we think we want... never really knowing what we have. -The Ataris

P.S. - I completed the second square foot garden plot... wohoooooooo

Something in the air....

2009-04-11T13:28:00.013-04:00

Good afternoon everyone! This morning I woke up and went to an overdo pilates class at the gym. I was surprised we had a fill-in teacher, but she did an amazing job. I then went and visited my sister at work and came home to many pleasant surprises:

Would you believe me if I told you i made this rye bread while at pilates? Well, I had some assistance from the Breadman, aka, the bread machine behind the loaf. We've had this machine sitting in the back of our pantry for years and my sister and I decided to buy the ingredients to make homemade bread. Dana has made like 4 loaves, but I tried my hand at it and wala.... the bread gods were in my favor.... This is a light wheat rye:

I bet you WOULD believe I made these beautiful egg babies all by myself, lol:

The plants must've taken steroids last night or something because look what I woke up to this morning!!!!::: Summer Squash, Cucs busting out of the cells!!

My tomatoes also were busting out! Something was in the air last night or the cards are just in my favor this morning with everything doing what it's supposed to.

Maybe the plants are telling me that I have to cultivate my other square foot garden tomorrow....

Yesterday was pretty fun. I made enchiladas with my friend Daryl at her house, came home, did The Shred Level 3 with my sis and her friend, then I did Yogadownload Detox #2, which was a little more advanced but was nice. I also accidentally got hooked on this show on BBC called Mistresses. It's like a classy but secretly whorish version of Sex and the City, UK style.

I've been pretty good with exercising (strength mostly) and watching my meals lately and finally have dropped some weight, which I am happy about! It's only a little, but I feel like this week my balance and mindset was right on par with my healthy goals.

I leave you with this great song by Ryan Adams called My Winding Wheel. Ryan recently married Many Moore (weird) and started a death metal band (weirder), but this song reminds me that at one time he was sane enough to make good music. A good 3:56 seconds well spent:

Tonight, I am staying with my friend Amanda at her Aunt's house on the island and we're going to see our first live show of the Spring/Summer! Ted Hammock, a local singer. Nice.

It's raining here, but I'm glad because then my garden will start to get a move on....

Meditation of the Day

Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.-Rainer Marie Rilke

Gardening: Labor of Love

2009-04-09T18:33:00.023-04:00

Happy Thursday! I woke up this morning to a beautiful day outside, and knew I had to get my garden started before the storm tomorrow. Instead of "shredding" I was "hoeing, shoveling, raking and sifting". My goal was to plant the overdo peas and sift the soil for the square foot bed. Here's how it looked about 3 quarters done (don't you love my swet random outfit?):It may not look like a lot of work, but I had to loosen the grass, which was pretty rough. Then add the dirt wheelbarrow style, add the peat moss, get out any rocks/debris, oh and the ROOTS, they got served:

Smooth as a baby's bottom:
I then nailed in the ropes to square off the plot, and this is how it turned out:I had already done arm work yesterday at the gym, but nothing prepared me for this work!

I decided to use the square root gardening method for many reasons. If you are interested in learning more, click here. It's pretty interesting. I still have another bed to do and maybe more.

I passed my goal of just peas and ended up planting:

2 types of Peas
Spinach
Loose leaf Lettuce
Romaine

I have my cells inside which include, tomatoes, cucumbers, basil, jalapenos, summer squash, peppers & parsley. I also am waiting until I am sure the frost is over to plant radishes & cilantro. One day at a time...

So there ya have it. After 7 hours (phew), I completed my first square foot garden plot. The first garden is always the hardest, because you are literally starting from the ground up. No pre-tilled soil. I definitely got a taste of how the next plot will be.

I love gardening because it is a process that you get to be a part of from beginning to end. Theres something crazy about planting a seed the size of a flea and it growing into food. I cannot wait to have fresh veggies & I'll keep my fingers crossed that they actually grow!

Food
In honor of my plot of peas & leafy greens, I made a salad of...peas and leafy greens with lite h/m dressing...YUM. I also had a chicken, basil lean cuisine. For dinner, my dad smoked a turkey and I made a spinach/rice casserole. My mom made veggies & squash.

I am sunburned, tired, sore, but totally fulfilled by my gardening adventures today. I hope you all had a great Thursday.

P.S. Don't be afraid of gardening...it may seem daunting, but it's like anything you start. Once you get the hang of it, it becomes second nature. Even if you have a little window garden, or pot plant. Just tending to one will be worth it in the end. Trust me.

Meditation of the Day
Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Youtube hookin' it up

2009-04-07T17:36:00.004-04:00

Happy Tuesday.... My Tuesday has been sore to say the least. My sister talked me into attending a TKO Kickboxing class last night before yoga, and it was intense! This lady was basically Jillian Michaels on speed! Scaryyyy.... She had us doing plank push-ups, which is something that was crazyyyyy.... Afterwards we did a yoga class which helped me to loosen up. For the first time since last year, I touched my feet to the floor during the back stretch. I guess it was the yogadownload/shred/TKO/yoga workout I had that day! I came home, was exhausted, and fell asleep by 11.

This morning I woke up and went to my sister and my favorite strength class. I was sore as hell, but her class always works those muscle groups I forget about. I did 30 minutes on the elliptical and then headed to a doctor's apt. w/ my sister (her knee has been bothering her). I got home and did a yogadownload from youtube (see below to try!) I figure the strength class was "shred" worthy, so that counts for it today.

YOU can do yoga....
Sooo.....I began practicing yoga, really practicing, last fall when I moved to Colorado. My gym offered a free pass to the ajoining yoga studio, and that is where I learned the real gist of it all. I have always been into the "be here now" mantra, and I had finally found a practice that seemed to be made for my mentality. I find that when trying something new, it's intimidating, but as I continued practicing, I found I gained flexibility, strength (both inner and outer), and balance (both inner and outer). Savasana or the end relaxation on yoga, was where I was first introduced to meditation. At Shambhala the following summer, I had already had meditated through my yoga, altough full-fledged hour long gomden style mediation is wayyy different. Most classes goals focus mainly on the physical skill, (kickboxing, awesome abs, spinning) but yoga delves into mental strength more. It is what you make of it, and ever since then, I am amazed by the way yoga uses your body and no resistance weights or outside sources to strengthen. It's all you....

Soooo, on that note, if you've been hestitant at trying yoga, I have found a youtube 10 minute yoga instruction with images that show you the poses. This video is great for anyone who wants to try it and view the poses. On yogadownload most of the free class are only audio, sooo Click Here to try it out!

This evening, I am planning on reading, relaxing, and recovering from this 2 day strength training craze.... My sister is trying to make me into a machine...phew.

P.S. - If you like Pearl Jam..... Check out this moving video of their journey...goosebumps!! Eddie Vedder can scream in my face any day....

Meditation of the Day
When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: "I wish no gifts, only presence." ~Author Unknown

(my bday is 21 days away, Canada is 18, woooohooo!)

What it all comes down to.....

2009-04-06T21:44:00.002-04:00

“You’re born into this world with nothing and when you die you have nothing. I know it sounds depressing but it is not. Actually, it can set you free. Material things are nice, but they are just things. Focus on the love for your family and friends and all the wonderful memories. If someone told you today that you only had three months to live, you would not be caught up into all this stuff. I know that not being able to pay your bills, losing your house, car, etc., can be overwhelming, but it is just stuff. I have sat by many patients’ bedsides when they were dying and they never mentioned bills or money or material things. They wanted to know if I could call their family or to tell their family and friends that they loved them. They wanted their family and friends to be with them. I enjoy nice things but if I would lose it tomorrow I know that I would be OK as long as I had my family and friends.” -- Excerpt from MSNBC's article, "10 ways to stay happy in tough times".

Made me smile....

Work-out Sanctuary

2009-04-06T14:07:00.007-04:00

Last night I set-up my new (well new hard drive) computer in my bedroom and for the 1st time it worked! I connected to the internet and started getting excited on the simple fact that I can do yoga and the shred in my bedroom. It was storming out as well, so no bike ride today. My room has a clear space and this morning I took full advantage of this.

I started off with Jillian Michael's Shred Level 2 (Youtubed) which had me sweating a ton, BUT I worked out in my sport bra and shorts, got to yell, take up as much room as I want (no cranky old ladies) and pause if I needed to pee/answer the phone; all things that would not fly at the gym. I liked the Level 2, (in a love/hate abusive relationship kinda way) I have only done Level 3 and they both seemed hard in different ways but I definitely find the transition of cardio to strength to abs a great combo, and makes it go by faster. Then I did a 15 minute abs class on YouTube by some girl from SparkPeople? It was basic but good abs work. I started writing shred on the calendar each day I do it. I'm hoping by Canada (April 25th) I'll have mastered this shred business.

After the shred & abs, I turned the lights off, lit my Jimi Hendrix incense (circa 2001), and I did YogaDownload's Yoga for Runners #1 because I felt tighter today than yesterday from the race. The class was great, except I got a little lost in the middle so I did some teasers, lol. That's another plus to my new yoga sanctuary at home, you can alter moves and not feel like an a hole.

Don't get me wrong, I would've worked out in my room eons ago, but having the instruction is always what keeps my interest and motivates me.

Tonight my sister and I are heading to yoga at the gym and to do some running. I have another job interview Wednesday, and tomorrow who knows? One day I'll revel in these jobless random days I call my life.....Off to make some lunch...

P.S. If you have XM Radio through DirecTV or whatever, I discovered my new favorite station called "Coffee House" on channel 848, acoustic, chill, calm, awesome.

Today in the blog world there's a lot going on --- Angela from Oh She Glows is giving away some chocolate (that's all I need to say), The Hungry Yogini is giving away a month's supply of Fage, Find Your Balance is giving away a Kripalu Vegetarian Cookbook, and Meghann from Inner Workings of A College Graduate is having a blogger bake sale to raise money for her Team in Training efforts. If you have some cravings for deliciousness and also want to help a good cause, head over!

Meditation of the Day
(Happy Birthday Ram Dass)

Be patient. You'll know when it's time for you to wake up and move ahead.- Ram Dass

5k Recap (heavy wind advisory)

2009-04-04T18:59:00.013-04:00

I am done the 5k Sprint for Life, my first race ever, and I must say the day was fun, crazy, coincidental (my number was 23, MY AGE) unpredictable, a BIG rush and above all very windy. We were on Long Beach Island, NJ which is right on the ocean and bay, so the wind gusts reached up to 40. Here's a quick recap of my sister and my day!

We woke up at 8am and what to my wondering eyes should appear? But a little monthly gift that I was NOT hoping to get this morning. It was unfortunate but what was I going to do? We fueled with some coffee and got to registration 2 hours early, ugh. We drove around to look at the course and stayed in my car because it was so windy. I swear the wind was PAINFUL to be out in. My parents got there and we all hung out until the race started:

You can see the power of the wind in our hair and not in a sexy way, lol. I have to admit I had some butterflies seeing all the hardcore runners and knowing this was my first race, but I suppressed them by saying, "It's only a half hour of your life".... Then the race was ready to begin:

My sister and I were near the front (gulp), and we were facing the gusts of wind.. I look scarrrrred:
Then the race started and I felt GOOD. I had Boston playing and I was cruising. Dana is at a faster pace than me so we parted ways and I let a bunch of speed demons pass me. I was in my own world and I disciplined myself to not get caught up in going ahead of my pace. I had my stopwatch on and I reached the 1 mile marker at 9:40! It was a great starting time! I kept on and ended up passing Dana going the opposite way and we slapped five. It was so great to see her, and gave me an extra push.

We turned the bend and WHAM, the wind was blowing straight at me. Me and 2 girls near me grunted simultaneiously at this point. Halfway down I speed walked for about 30 seconds and then continued to mile 2 at around 21 mins. At this point I was getting really tired and started harping on myself for not running outside as much during training. I speedwalked again for about 45 seconds at the last turn into the wind, which felt like someone pushing me. AND THEN.......I heard Dana say, "C'mon Erin", and I booked it to the finish, in the midst of feeling like I was going to puke, fall over and yell for joy: I'm on the left with my booty in all it's glory, haha. It was a great feeling being done and being hugged by my family. I was panting, "I need water" and booked it to my car to chug some.

I looked down on my stopwatch, completely forgetting I was being timed and didn't know my official time either. Dana informed me she broke her record time and got 24:58! Sooooo good! We waited for the awards ceremony, because we had an incling Dana may place in her age group of 20-24. My offical time was 32:10 which was great for me, especially for my first race plus the wind factor. My pace was 10:20 mile and I couldn't be happier! After seeing our times, we waited and waited and..........Dana placed 2nd overall in her age group! This was Dana's first race ever and I was so proud of her. I teared up when she went up to get her medal. She was 68th overall out of 400 runners. She put so much hard work into training and it paid off. She's the one that talked me into running this and I owe her so much for it. Love ya sista.... After the awards, we clearly needed to rest our tired bodies and sip on these delicious blue and yellow bottles of heaven:

They had a buffet which included some hot dogs, perogies and meatballs and we sampled them all and then felt extremely sick after it. I still couldn't believe we ran the race and we both were so glad to have experienced our first race together. Dana and I are good motivators for eachother, and we learned that backpacking and now running. I am so glad that I have opened my eyes to races and I know I will be doing more in my future!

As for my current condition, I am a little sore but shin-splintless, and very enlightened by the race. I hope you all had a great Saturday, and I hope I showed to you that it is possible to go from not running at all to a 5k in a couple of weeks... All you need is the wind at your back and loved ones at your side and your eye on the finish...

Meditation of the Day

"A lot of people run a race to see who's the fastest. I run to see who has the most guts."
- Steve Prefontaine

Getting to know youuuu....

2009-04-03T15:06:00.006-04:00

Food version 1.0

Thought it would be fun to do a post dedicated to my love of food.., ya know cause there is nothing better to do on a rainy afternoon...

How often do you think about eating?

Probably whenever I'm dormant for more than a half an hour, and breakfast, lunch and dinnertime, clearly

Coffee craving?
I love coffee. At home I have Chock Full Of Nuts Hazelnut with a little creamer or whatever other generic brand is in the house. Seasonally, Spring summer ice, Fall Winter skim vanilla lattes or just plain old coffee.

Favorite hometown food?
Seafood. I live a mile from the bay and 10 minutes from the ocean so Mud City Crab House,

and I can't forget for a non-seafood restaurant, Chicken or the Egg , by far the best wings in the world with 12 different sauces including the Ludicrous sauce... the hottest. I HAVE tasted it and shortly after regretted it with every bone in my body. It's opened 24 hours too, and close to fun bars.. You do the math.

Ever been served breakfast in bed?
I think my mom has brought me oatmeal when I was sick once, not so memorable....

Your absolutely reliable, go-to dish for entertaining is:
Shrimp, Feta, Orzo Casserole & fresh Bruschetta...

Food that makes you gag?
I'll try anything. I have yet to gag from food....weird. I do hate black beans.

Worst kitchen disaster:
Recently, I decided to bake homemade cupcakes and when preparing the icing forgot to add the cream cheese. It tasted so disgustingly sweet and I couldn't figure it out. After contemplating for a good 20 minutes, I looked in the microwave where I began heating the cream cheese up. Duh.

Three things in your refrigerator right now:
I share it with my family. The things I have been eating the most:

Sabra Sun-dried tomato hummus
Tuna Casserole I made
Franks Red Hot Sauce
Blackberries

Your idea of a romantic meal is:
Making dinner together. I'm thinking seafood, scallops, shrimp in a delish sauce. White wine, asparagus and a chocolate lava cake for dessert....all I need is a boyfriend now.

Secret snack of shame?
Doritos. Hands down.

Most ambitious thing you’ve ever done in the kitchen:
Try to cook Thanksgiving turkey, failure. Vegetable lasagna, all fresh veggie and homemade cheese mixture, success.

Best restaurant if you’re not paying:

Renault Winery in Egg Harbor City, NJ or Dock's Oyster House in Atlantic City, NJ

If you were a cocktail, what would you be?
My old boss actually dedicated one to me. A Cucumber infused gin spritzer. The Cuc-tail. I love cucumbers and gin and he would smash the cucumbers into the mixture.

Extra Credit: Where is the world’s best pizza?
Not a big pizza person, but Naples down the road from me is awesome. NY/NJ style pizza outshines any other state. I'm sure Italy would be the best place in the world, clearly.

Breakfast, Lunch or Dinner?

I love breakfast, because I love mornings, I'm weird.

This was fun. Now I am hungry. Cya!

Wake up call

2009-04-03T09:20:00.019-04:00

“Life is one big road with lots of signs.So when you riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate,mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality. Wake Up and Live!” ~ Bob Marley

Happy Friday.... Thank you for the comments the other day... It's crazy how a couple of words can help you out so much! I am feeling a lot better now, and I knew it was one of those days where everything comes crashing down at once.

I woke up at 5:50 yesterday morning to a phone call to go sub. My class was an autistic preschool, and it was an eye-opening experience to say the least. I knew about autism roughly through my mom who is a school counselor for kids with behavioral issues, but never have I had to be the authoritative figure to an autistic child. I figured subbing would be a way to make some money and I didn't expect to get much out of it, but after even being in that classroom for 4 hours, my eyes were opened to the challenges these children face each day. When kids are that young, something as simple as building a wall out of building blocks is an accomplishment. It had me wondering what goes through their minds, and how alone they must feel at times... It saddened me, but also made me thankful for programs at schools geared towards autistic children....You learn something new everyday, when you least expect it... I am happy I got to help for a day.

After subbing, I met up with some friends and we got salads & a couple drink at a local pub, then went and saw my old High School's Musical, Bye Bye Birdie! It brought back memories of when I was in the plays (I did the plays for 2 years and cheered competitively for 2). They were so good and worked so hard and it was nice to support my old school. After the play, I was EXHAUSTED and passed out so fast. I set my alarm for 7am pilates, but I gave into my sleep, oooops! I woke up, had some Bob's Red Mill Oat Bran with honey, brown sugar, raspberry jelly & almond butter. I think I added too much water but it was a different and creamy consistency and delish...
My sister found Jillian Michaels' 30 day Shred on Youtube and since it's like the newest trend, lol, I decided I'd give it a try. We did level 3 and I liked the combo of cardio and strength. I didn't modify the moves which I thought I would have to do since I was a newbie but it did cause me to sweat and I think I yelled "noooooo" a couple times. I feel like if I did this each day I'd strengthen my moves. It was hard, but not to a point of never wanting to do it again:-)

The 5k
Soooooooooo......tomorrow is the 5k Race for Life on Long Beach Island with my sister, and I couldn't be more excited. The wind is supposed to be 35 MPH and we'll be running a quarter mile from the beach so I'm definitely bringing an ear headband thingy.

My Goal
Since this is my first race, I am not trying to set any crazy goals or get down on myself if I walk a minute. I initally said I wanted to be under 30 minutes, but I find when I set a cut and dry goal I get too focused on the goal and not the journey. I went from not running AT ALL to being able to run 3 miles (dying slightly) and 1 and 2 individually as well. For me, this is a big hurdle, because I was so scared to run again.... It seemed unattainable and the treadmill reminded me of a big bad monster. The last time I had run in a race was in track freshman year of HIGH SCHOOL. In all honesty, I'm all about the fun factor tomorrow, and enjoying the race instead of anticipating a set time. There is supposively a great after party too, whoohoo. Wish me luck!

I'm off to Target to browse and then possible do some light cardio at the gym. Have a great weekend!!

Meditation of the Day
The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, or not to anticipate troubles, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly. Buddha
My sister and I after backpacking to the top of Garfield Mountain in White Mountains, NH. It was supposed to be the most beautiful view, but we only saw fog. We didn't care...we made it.

Can we start April over again?

2009-04-01T19:29:00.004-04:00

When I recieved an e-mail from the company I interviewed for this morning I wish it was a joke....Unfortunately I did not get the job....and these rejections are really really getting to me. I just keep waiting for that ray of sunlight to make all my troubles dissapear..... I am just so sick of this job situation. I am sick of the word JOB. Just yesterday I was giving Danielle from "A Year of Healthy Eating" a pep talk over her job situation and now here I am being negative.... Sometimes though, I feel it's okay to embrace your feelings and roll with your emotions even if they're depressing.....oh well.....

Besides the rejection, today I offically began my garden. I planted about 50 seeds today for this summer and potter the warm weather plants indoors. I have everything from Parsley and Basil to Tomatoes, Squash, Zucchini, Lettuce, Peppers, Jalepenos and even a flower plant. It was a lot of work and but I am excited to get it going...

I went to Zumba with my sister to cheer up but my mood matches the gloomy day....

I'm not in the mood to write much, but I hope to be back to myself tomorrow.

Pistachio Recall

2009-03-31T09:03:00.003-04:00

Pistachios have been recalled due to possible Salmonella outbreak... Please throw them away! Ugh, they happen to be one of my favorite nuts...

Off to the gym then food shopping, have a great Tuesday!

Raw Epicurean Love

2009-03-30T14:31:00.004-04:00

As of right now I am not "raw", but it is a lifestyle I'd like to strive for. Raw Epicurean is a site I've been following which focuses on raw food but also tells inspiring stories about people's decisions to live a healthier more healing life. Ingrid informed me I that she wanted to add my blog to her "Raw Dedicated + Inspiring Blogs", so yay! Check out the site and the blog list if you get a chance....

Maybe this is my calling to join the raw food movement........

~Erin~

Crack & Craptastic

2009-03-29T15:06:00.003-04:00

excuse the vulgar title, but.....

I just went on a run to the bay a little over a mile, and along away the following 2 things happened to me:

I realized my pants were wayyyy to big, and for about a quarter of the run my upper region of my buttox (crack) was in full sight
I almost stepped in snow geese crap the whole way, which was disgusting

I swear everything was against me running today.....But I did finish and that's all that mattered.

Has anyone else had a similar semi-hilarious semi-ridiculous running experience??

Full Circle

2009-03-29T12:00:00.008-04:00

Happy Sunday...it's definitely gray outside, but at times I like the rainy weather....It's calming

Yesterday was a successful running day. I was totally not feeling working out, but then the little voice in my head said, "5k on SATURDAY" over and over so I packed up and went. I ended up doing the whole 5k which I have run before but it is my maximum distance. Has anyone else who has run a 5k only made to to 3.1 before the race? I did stop around 29 minutes for a minute but then sprinted the last bit. I started my pace lower, even though I was hesitant, but I wanted to finish. I ran the 3.1 miles in about 33:30, averaging a 10:50 mile. I know it's not an earth shattering time, but I felt so good completing it.

I have ran 2 miles in 20:20, and a mile by itself at 9:23. I just need to work on distance and not running at a faster pace, and then crashing after 2 miles. I needed to prove to myself I could complete the 5k after a week hiatus. My goal next time is to shed it down to 32 or 31 and try to run the whole time.... It's refreshing to make it around the whole circle course on the treadmill and see it say 3.1. I ended with some ab work and legs & stretching which definitely helped with my shin splints. My 5k goal is still to be under 30.

As for healthy eating, all in all I have been doing pretty well. Friday night my 2 girlfriends talked me into going to our favorite Italian place, but instead of opting for a heavier meal I got simple linguini with red sauce. I also had a couple pieces of calamari, 2 bites of peanut butter pie... (and some wine, clearly). Yesterday before my run I had a mixed bowl of Kashi cereals. At least I ran some of the Italian off in the morning!

Last night I headed over to my friend Daryl's house for a small dinner of buffalo chicken manicotti, a recipe she created. I had two shells, and boy was it delish. For you Twilighters, we watched the bonus Twilight features & the commentary and Robert Pattinson cracked us up the whole time commenting on the movie & making fun of himself. For breakfast today I had my new love, bakery bread with sun-dried tomato Sabra hummus with 2 hb eggs.

I also decided to be pro-active and join Angela's Bikini Body Bootcamp Challenge. They readers at her site are very positive, and Angela is too, so it should be a fun way to work towards a bigger goal. We had to take before pictures of ourselves and boy were mine a wake up call. Seriously!!!! My ultimate goal is to shed the weight while adding some tightness to my body. We'll see how it goes....

This entry was pretty boring... Hopefully tomorrow I get the either good or bad news about my job interview..... Here's hoping for a steady income.......hahaha...

What am I to watch tonight now that Big Love is over???

Meditation(s) of the Day
When we love a woman we don’t start measuring her limbs ~ Pablo Picasso

Emotion always has its roots in the unconscious and manifests itself in the body. ~Irene Claremont de Castillejo
Some rain on a day of hiking in Estes Park, Colorado.......upon us all a little rain must fall....